Why the men I am interested are always either uninterested in me and/or unavaila

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Why the men I am interested are always either uninterested in me and/or unavaila

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  • Hayley Matthews Hayley Matthews
    DatingAdvice.com
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    Lillyinrain
    Lillyinrain
    Participant
    December 22, 2018 at 3:56 pm #191610
    Why the men I am interested are always either uninterested in me and/or unavaila

    Being a woman in her late 30s I am still single. In my entire dating history the men whom I have interested in are usually not interested in me and/or unavailable. However I always got plenty of men whom I have no interest in go after me.

    Does this sound familiar to you? What should I do?

    dashingscorpio
    dashingscorpio
    Participant
    December 23, 2018 at 11:31 am #191633

    Each of us chooses our own friends, lovers, and spouse.
    Each of us has our own mate selection/screening process and “must haves list”.
    Each of us has our own boundaries and “deal breakers”.

    The easy part is making a list of all the traits you want in a mate.
    However there is one other step people seldom consider and that is what I call (transference).

    Imagine yourself being your “ideal mate” and honestly ask yourself if you were him/her: Would you want you?
    If the answer is “no” then you need to cultivate the traits you believe such a person would want in (their) mate.
    Apparently the guys you find attractive or desirable do not see YOU as being (their) type. Explore why that is.

    Secondly consider you may actually be aiming out of your league.
    No one wants hear that or think that but sometimes people do have “unrealistic expectations”.
    A woman who looks like Chrissy Metz is not going to end up with a guy who looks like Brad Pitt.

    You may be overlooking “good guys” or not open to other races/cultures..etc

    dashingscorpio
    dashingscorpio
    Participant
    December 23, 2018 at 11:41 am #191635

    If you want something different YOU have to do something different.
    When we change our circumstances change.

    The world may not owe you anything but you owe yourself the world!
    “Never love anyone who treats you like you’re ordinary.” – Oscar Wilde

    Best wishes!

    H0pEfulR0mAntic
    H0pEfulR0mAntic
    Participant
    December 23, 2018 at 6:51 pm #191646

    I hate to be the one to say it, but is it you? Seriously consider what’s happening in you life right now. You are in your 30’s and you’re not matched up yet. You have guys who pursue you and yet you have no interest in them. Does that sound a little like what the men who you are pursuing are also doing? Do you have wife-like qualities that these men you desire couldn’t possibly live without or do you come with baggage and needs which are difficult to satisfy? Maybe you put yourself on a pedestal and these men don’t want to bother with all the work that goes along with a woman of your caliber. Is your bar set too high? You might consider lowering those standards just a bit to allow someone in who can love you for who you are. If you’re still hung up on how men look at this age, you’re setting yourself up for failure. If you think your biological clock is telling you it’s time to settle down, don’t expect a young attractive man who is rigorously dating all the fish to feel the same.