Worried and confused

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Worried and confused

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  • Hayley Matthews Hayley Matthews
    DatingAdvice.com
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    wolfe369
    wolfe369
    Participant
    December 27, 2018 at 8:59 am #191706
    Worried and confused

    II am a 39 year old male. Recently divorced after 2 years marriage but we were together for 7 years. The marriage was toxic for both of us.
    I just started dating a 28 year old that works at my same company. (no office drama, we work across town from each other, our jobs do not connect with each other we rarely see each other and are both supervisors). We have known each other for 6 years and have both admired from afar not knowing the other found the other attractive. A few months ago she made a comment to me and I asked her out. Since then we have been out several times and I have this urge to be with her, not sexually just be with her.
    But.. my heart doesn’t skip a beat it, doesn’t race and while I enjoy the sex it’s not a deal breaker as long as I am there with her. That scares me when I have dated in the past my heart raced when I was with someone new and I would explode to have them. The other day we were kissing and she said feel my heart and it was racing but mine was not and I felt bad. I’m worried about not having this “lust” feeling. But then why do I want to be with her so bad and I WANT to fall in love with her but I’m in no rush as long as we are together. Maybe it will change the more time we spend together(we both have kids and have not introduced them yet)maybe I’m just scared of her??

    • This topic was modified 2 months, 4 weeks ago by wolfe369 wolfe369.
    dashingscorpio
    dashingscorpio
    Participant
    December 27, 2018 at 11:13 pm #191728

    “I have this urge to be with her, not sexually just be with her.”
    “I enjoy the sex it’s not a deal breaker as long as I am there with her.”
    “I’m worried about not having this “lust” feeling.”

    You’re almost 40 years old!
    It’s fairly natural for someone your age to NOT behave like a lovestruck teenager.
    The older we become we learn to date and love smarter.
    We become more practical and do not allow “impulsive connections” and “happenstance” to dictate our choices.
    Mature love doesn’t require drama/anxiety or insecurity to feel real.

    Some people would say what you’re feeling is “real love” when sex takes a backseat to being together.
    You’re worried and confused for no reason. Relax and enjoy what you have together.

    As long as she knows you WANT to be with her no matter what it won’t matter that your heart doesn’t skip a beat.
    You don’t have to {want to fall in love with her} because you’re already “in love” with her.
    “I want to be with her so bad…” – That pretty much says it all!

    Brandyfeli
    Brandyfeli
    Participant
    December 28, 2018 at 5:55 pm #191736

    Take it slow. You might get those feelings in time.

    wolfe369
    wolfe369
    Participant
    December 31, 2018 at 8:40 am #191707

    This weekend we sat out by the lake for over and hr and she just layed on me and, I didn’t want her to leave. It’s like that when we are together it just feels good and I want to be there we talk forever. We have been together once sexually and it was great. I had to leave super early in the am and I didn’t want to wake her and it was hard for me to leave her.

    wolfe369
    wolfe369
    Participant
    December 31, 2018 at 8:40 am #191708

    But.. my heart doesn’t skip a beat it, doesn’t race and while I enjoy the sex it’s not a deal breaker as long as I am there with her. That scares me when I have dated in the past my heart raced when I was with someone new and I would explode to have them. The other day we were kissing and she said feel my heart and it was racing but mine was not and I felt bad. I’m worried about not having this “lust” feeling. But then why do I want to be with her so bad and I WANT to fall in love with her but I’m in no rush as long as we are together. Maybe it will change the more time we spend together(we both have kids and have not introduced them yet)maybe I’m just scared of her??

    wolfe369
    wolfe369
    Participant
    December 31, 2018 at 8:40 am #191711

    Not sure why this went to gay dating and I cannot change it

    wolfe369
    wolfe369
    Participant
    December 31, 2018 at 8:40 am #191733

    thank you

    SignMeUpJacob
    SignMeUpJacob
    Participant
    March 8, 2019 at 2:47 pm #196257
    Reply To: Worried and confused

    Yes just take it slow and feel it from there