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janis7244ParticipantSeptember 11, 2014 at 1:03 pm #61795
Ok – I’ll try to keep this short. I met a guy online recently who turned out to be someone I went to high school with but there’s a higher comfort level because of it, I think. After 5 great dates he asked me to go away for the weekend and we were intimate – like 8 times over the weekend – it was fantastic. Had an awesome time. During that weekend, we were talking about the future and he said a lot of things that made it sound like he was getting serious. SO…two days later when I noticed he was still being very active online dating, I asked him about it because I was really hurt. He said he wanted to keep his options open in case it doesn’t work with me and that he’s only talking to others. I almost said goodbye, but then I realized that we really hadn’t seen each other that long. We’re trying and when we date it’s awesome, but when we text, he’s started giving me one word replies and things are flat. Should I be worried?
janis7244ParticipantSeptember 11, 2014 at 1:18 pm #61798
Here’s an an example of what I mean, to be more specific…We went out last Monday evening and had a great time. We’ve texted since then every day – sometimes I start the conversation, sometimes, he does. I mentioned that I wouldn’t have my kids on Friday so he’d know that I would be free that evening. By Thursday morning, he had not asked me out again or even mentioned getting together. I know I should not have asked but as it’s my only free day, I don’t want to spend it sitting at home and I planned to either go out with him or a friend. So, I texted him good morning, reminded him that I was free Friday and asked if he could get together. His reply was one-word – “yes.” That was this morning and I haven’t heard from him since. What does that mean?! If he’s not interested in seeing me again, wouldn’t he just ignore me or say he’s busy? So, I feel like he’s interested, but the one-word answers make me feel like he’s not!!
snowman1991ParticipantSeptember 12, 2014 at 8:44 am #61799
It’s hard to say it. I would never ever give you one word answer, no matter how much I like or dislike you so it’s hard to judge it that way but I do understand what you are saying because I would be worried too if a girl started giving me shorter answers than usually. It triggers an alarm.
And he saying he is keeping other options open is telling me he is not sure about you yet. When a guy is really really in love, he would never think about another one unless he’s a player. Remember he didn’t say it it’s just for fun, he said it’s for other options, that’s a big difference. He told you directly there might come another girl.
You two need to talk about it, that would be best to do
snowman1991ParticipantSeptember 12, 2014 at 8:45 am #61800
The fact is that he told you that other options are open which to me means you’re not what he wants and has other options. He didn’t say he chats for fun, he said for other options. Big difference here. If a guy is really really in love, he would never think about another one unless he’s a player.
As for short answers. If his answers were not always short he is probably losing a bit of interest or is bored with texting.
You two should talk about it.
KittyHammerParticipantSeptember 15, 2014 at 8:46 am #61932
5 great dates,intimate – like 8 times over the weekend, he wanted to keep his options open in case it doesn’t work with me, and I mentioned that I wouldn’t have my kids on Friday so he’d know that I would be free that evening.
Based on these and going on the assumption that men are very simple creatures: he is not interested in a long term relationship. He is still invested in meeting other women. Next time ask yourself: Do you want short-term or long-term encounters? You need to know that in the beginning. Otherwise, the way your relationships will repeat themselves as a gamble.
AnonymousInactiveSeptember 15, 2014 at 9:37 am #61980
i agree – move on instead
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