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What are you waiting for? One mouse click could be all that stands between you and your next romance!November 2, 2014 at 3:53 am #66949
So I know I’ll get mixed responses but I’d really appreciate the feedback/criticsm etc. If a guy asked you out but told you he shared a tiny studio with his ex even the same bed as its basically 1 room no space to swint a cat etc, but there was ‘NO’ physical relationship. Could you trust him? Would you date him? I’ve never cheated on anyone in my life and I’m in my 40’s now and I’m not going to start and I’m not going to cheat on what seems to be the nicest woman I’ll ever meet with the only girl who ever cheated on my in the worst way, my ex. I’d like to date her then let her get to know me and I’d want to tell her as soon as I can because I want to win her trust and every day that I didnt tell her I’d feel really bad. I’f I dont make a move I may lose her as she may think I’m not ever going to approach her and some other lucky guy could get his chance.
Comments greatly received and appreciated and thanks taking time to read thisNovember 2, 2014 at 4:00 am #66950
Just to add, this is purely financial. I’m saving to move out in 2015. London is a hell hole for rent, thats the agreement we have. A while back we were physical and now whenever she tries to get it on I just refuse and tell her its not going to happen. I am very strong-willed and know myself. I would never ask a girl out and date whilst still being physical with my ex regardless of whether new girl knows or not. Its a horrible predicament to be in but its the situation I’m in and it wont last for long. I just hope she could understand as I’m seeing her again in 2 weeks and after the 6mths we’ve flirted with each other via eye-contact I know its way over due to say something.
lisajenks8ParticipantNovember 6, 2014 at 7:33 pm #67153
Absolutely not. It isn’t really about trusting him not to do anything. Maybe there isn’t anything there, although i do find it very strange they share a bed and a studio when they are no longer together. Until he moves out, or she does i would not want to date someone in this situation, and he should understand it is very inappropriate to be sharing a bed with another girl while having a girlfriend.
bootybootParticipantNovember 7, 2014 at 8:41 am #67162
I actually dated a guy who lived with his “ex.” Turns out they were still married and going strong even though he said they were separated but had to live in the same apt due to visa issues (they were a Canadian couple living in the US.) I was so charmed by him that I ignored any warning signs. But I got wise quickly & cut him off. After that experience, can’t say I would ever trust a guy who was in your position. How am I supposed to know that when you share a bed it’s not physical?
I’m sorry that’s your current deal, but if a woman is worth her salt she would stay far away from that drama. And you can’t stay with a friend or family or on a sofa? Just seems like you’re making excuses why you’re still living with your ex. Just keep in touch and then ask her out once you’ve gotten your own place. I would definitely NOT tell her that you are living with an ex while flirting with her. That is shady whether you still are romantic with your ex or not.November 7, 2014 at 8:41 am #67163
@Lisajenks8 thanks for the honesty. I guess I have to lose her then & this really breaks my heart. You asked why I’m there, I lost my job and was out of work for 11mths and in that time as a friend she really looked after me. If not for her I would have been homeless. We’re good friends but thats it. When I got a job as you can imagine it takes time to save up, clear debts etc. if you live in a room (it’s just that’s tiny room) with no space you only have space for one bed not two, you literally can’t imagine the space if you’ve never stayed in a bedsit. As for the new girl I didn’t want to get physical with her I just wanted her to finally know I like her a lot and get to know her then when I’ve moved out take it to another level. I just don’t want to ‘lose’ her because she seems like everything I’ve ever wanted and that’s why I wanted to tell her my situation asap as Ive nothing to hide.
But thanks for being the only one to reply to this, it’s really appreciated.November 7, 2014 at 12:19 pm #67189
@bootyboot – many thanks for your input. I have friends who have no space to put me up and I would have done this if it were possible. I’ve fallen out with my own family so therefore could not stay with them. I know you’ve been messed around but it’s unfair to taint me with the same brush but this is what I wanted to know, honest advice and I really appreciate. If I date her for a while as I said I don’t want to get physical I really just want her to get to know me and of course I’m not looking for NSA fun I ‘want’ her & ‘only’ her. If you understood how hard living in London was you’d know it’s easier when the burden of rent and the rising cost of living. As I said it’s purely financial. I can save faster to eventually get my own place which means the sooner I can move out. Really appreciate your feedback. Thanks
OpelParticipantNovember 7, 2014 at 11:40 pm #67238
No. Even if he is honest, he needs his own place before dating
janine87ParticipantNovember 8, 2014 at 9:41 am #67242
I couldn’t do it. There would never really be a way for me to know that I could trust the person completely.November 8, 2014 at 11:31 am #67251
There are couples who live together who either one is cheating on the other, so it’s all down to one thing…. Trust.! Irrespective of where someone is, at work,at the pub or club or away on holiday with the girls or guys how do you know just because you are in a relationship that something is not happening? I’ve had guys straight up tell me if they could get away with it they’d do it. I just thought that being honest, transparent and open straight up would show my character. But if it was her who said the same to me of course I know I’d feel the same way. Thx for comments it’s still very helpful and to be honest now I’m having second thoughts about saying anything to her now. Sigh.
gianna3ParticipantNovember 9, 2014 at 2:46 am #67270
I personally wouldn’t do it unless I fully trusted that person. If I’ve known that person for a really long time then I would consider it. But if I didnt really know them too well then I don’t think it’s a good idea. But if you really do care for her and you don’t think you’re gonna get another chance then just follow you’re heart and go for it.
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