Wrench thrown into a guy I have been talking to for 2 weeks.

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Wrench thrown into a guy I have been talking to for 2 weeks.

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  • Hayley Matthews Hayley Matthews
    DatingAdvice.com
    December 12, 2018 at 8:37 pm FORUM ANNOUNCEMENT

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    newbie85
    newbie85
    Participant
    September 11, 2018 at 3:58 pm #184027
    Wrench thrown into a guy I have been talking to for 2 weeks.

    Let me start by saying that I am a 33 year old gay male and the guy I’m talking to is a 24 year old gay Capricorn male who is here in LA for vacation. We initially met because I went to meet up with my best friend for drinks at a bar. He’s staying with him and my best friend’s roommate is this guy’s friend. We hit it off immediately and had been texting and hung out a few times over the course of 2 weeks. He’s super interested in me, or so i thought. This past Sunday, he wanted to plan a date but I wasn’t able to meet up with him until late that evening as I had work. He told me that he was looking forward to hanging out and that he would be going to dinner with a “friend” and would meet me out for drinks afterwards. When he met me that evening, he brought that guy and told me that he was a friend he knew from the last time he was in the states. Their energy wasn’t giving that, but me and the guy he brought hit it off and became facebook friends. This is where things get very messy…

    newbie85
    newbie85
    Participant
    September 11, 2018 at 4:05 pm #184029

    That evening at the bar we were closing our tabs and the English boy came up to me and kissed me and said I can’t wait to see you tomorrow. He was wasted when he showed up with his “friend” and so he said he would be ubering back to his place because he didn’t want to go home with me in his current state. So he and the other guy got into their uber and left. After feeling uneasy, I decided to connect with the guy he brought on facebook and we both began to talk about our dynamics that past evening. He proceeded to tell me that the English boy told him that i was only a “friend” as well so we both were confused. he also told him that when he say us kissing, that he actually went in to tell me that he only wanted to be friends, which was not the case. We were both super confused as that day he was texting me asking me what i felt like doing and that he was excited to hang out. I told him that we needed to have a chat first. I FaceTimed him and told him up front that the guy and I talked.

    newbie85
    newbie85
    Participant
    September 12, 2018 at 9:14 am #184030

    He broke down and told me that he felt like shit for lying to me. He had initially met the guy on Grindr that day and was low on money and was only looking for a free dinner and time to kill before he met up with me. But after they went to dinner, they really hit it off and he was too embarrassed to tell me that this is what was going on. He said he felt terrible after the fact that he brought him out to meet me for drinks after they had dinner. He also confirmed that they had indeed went back to the guy’s place after the bar and he stayed the night. We haven’t been intimate yet because I wanted to take things slowly and it seemed like he wanted the same thing. But he was somewhat intimate with the other guy that night and the next morning they talked about how they could potentially date on another if he moved here, which he told me the same. So I guess my question is, Should I actually give him space to figure out what he wants? I’m not one to share anyone I’m interested in.

    newbie85
    newbie85
    Participant
    September 12, 2018 at 9:14 am #184031

    However, after i confronted him on facetime, he said he felt horrible about everything he had done and that he still really likes me. He said he really likes us both and he doesn’t know what to do because he thinks it’s unfair to string us along. My thing is that I’m confused how he could fall so hard for a guy he literally just met that evening and place him on the same playing field of myself as we were talking for 2 weeks and making great progress. He had already made plans to stay at the guy’s place another evening and out day to hang was yesterday (the day i found all of this out and didn’t want to meet up after finding all of this out). I could chalk it up to him just being young, but I’m supe confused because he told me he still wants to get to know me even more and that he doesn’t want to lose me as a potential partner. So…should I just give him space to figure out shit or is this all just a shit show and he’s just not that interested becase I haven’t “put out” yet?