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ConanthelethargicParticipantJune 24, 2017 at 5:56 am #140533
Okay I had met acquaintance of this woman several times, asked her if she was single to which at the time she replied no, but was visiblly flattered. Months later she flirts that she wants to see more of me, so I ask her out. We hangout several times over the course of a couple months, all the while telling me that she is not ready for a relationship, she only wants to be friends. Because her recent breakup, in a line of bad (So no chance move on right? But she is also very guarded in her emotions, says no when she really wants me to do something, ala making moves.
Keeps me on the hook with emphasis on the (for now) part of be friends for now. Telling me that she shares things, and talks about stuff with me that she doesn’t with her many other friends guy included. (Great just another link in the chain of idiots trying to get with her right?) Then we start seeing more of each other, but maintains that she is busy with work and doesn’t have much time outside business and family.
ConanthelethargicParticipantJune 24, 2017 at 6:16 am #140534
Finally we begin to become more intimate,massages in the park, movies with cuddling. Invited to house more than cuddling everything short of having sex. Then right back to friends, “we could fool around if that’s all you want?” Then I say “I want more” she says “give me space, wait for me to be ready” so I say ok. Then she says we can get together the next week, then cancels saying I forgot my family members birthday. Okay, then up comes a day never mentioned she had off, but already has plans. I ask who with to which she says ” a friend ” so I lay it out there that I’m not seeing anyone else, curious where I stand. She goes crackers saying I don’t get to tell her who she hangs out with, and for my info it was a girl.
Where the heck did that come from? I Haven’t spoken since. My question is did I rush her too fast? How long do I have to wait? Is she seeing multiple people, I know she’s really attracted me, what’s the holdup? I really like her, but is there anything going on?
Girl1980sParticipantJuly 9, 2017 at 3:58 am #141419
She sounds like she is dealing with a lot right now. And she could be emotionally distraught over her recent break up. And she could very well be on the rebound. She could feel like you are rushing her in to something to fast. But regardless she shouldn’t lead you on or string you along. You don’t want to get tied up in her emotionally if she’s not over her ex either. I think you need to try talking to her again and express your concerns. You should ask her what she wants to come out of all of this with you. And ask her could she see herself in a relationship with you someday when she is ready and the time is right. But how long would you be willing to wait? These are things you need to talk to her about. You have to have good communication. And as to why she went crackers I have no clue. But like I said she is probably dealing with a lot right now emotionally with the recent break up. It may just be too soon for her.
Taurus72ParticipantJuly 9, 2017 at 4:19 am #141421
I think she may have had a traumatic breakup experience and recovering so you may want to take it easy keep it light hearted and let her know you are available but dont chase her that will only make her run. After a few weeks maybe see if she wants to catchup for coffee and go from there. Maybe even ask her is she scared of getting involved and listen / look for signs — good luck
nycdancer3ParticipantJuly 9, 2017 at 4:36 pm #141433
I think the other people who have already commented are pretty spot-on. She could very much like you but be too hurt/still not over her ex. She obviously cares about you but it’s unclear if she’s A just vulnerable right now and she sees you like her and care for her so you’re someone to make her feel better/help her get through this or B she really does have feelings for you romantically and doesn’t really know what to do. I think it’s best to give her a little space and realize if it’s meant to be, it will be. The timing seems off anyway, so it’s most important to look out for your own feelings first. Try to go out with some other women or at least hang out with some more friends and her a little less until she’s in a position that she can be more honest and open with you.
CodyParticipantJuly 9, 2017 at 10:01 pm #141441
Maybe she has some things that she needs to resolve first. Or maybe you can ask to talk to her about it.
richiroParticipantJuly 10, 2017 at 4:49 pm #141614
dude she was never yours and never said there was anything going on between you two. so yes, when you then come out and say “i’m not seeing anybody else” – ensinuating you’re seeing each other – that’s why she blew up.
you are a side, fun thing, and nothing serious that is not intended to ever go anywhere no matter how “far” she goes with you.
sorry. but that’s where it’s coming from.
dante5555ParticipantJuly 10, 2017 at 5:20 pm #141636
Im not sure but your should try and be honest, usually its the best thing to do.
TheMobbParticipantJuly 11, 2017 at 9:55 am #141674
I think the moment she told she just wants you to be friends and you were okay with this you got friendzoned and the fact that “she shares things, and talks about stuff with me that she doesn’t with her many other friends guy included.” doesn’t necessarily mean that you’re someone specal i think it means that now she considers you as her best friend … so i think the best thing you can do is give really give her space but before you do that, you should tell her that you’re not looking for friendship and ask her if she’s ready now, if she’s not, you get away from her and don’t look behind.
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