How Do I Get Over My Fear of Commitment?

Nick Slade

Written by: Nick Slade

Nick Slade

Nick spent 20 years in the dating scene before marriage. He has always been the guy friends would come to for advice on relationships, and he developed a knack for giving helpful insights. After college, Nick was a disc jockey for a few years, when the love generation was still alive, so Nick has a lot of relevant experience to draw from when it comes to every aspect of dating, falling in love and screwing things up. He holds Bachelor's degree in humanities and a slew of master’s credits in journalism. Nick is a news junkie and tries to keep up on the latest non-fiction when he has time. He has published two books on how to win at dating and relationships.

Edited by: Lillian Castro

Lillian Castro

Lillian Guevara-Castro brings more than 30 years of journalism experience to ensure DatingAdvice articles have been edited for overall clarity, accuracy, and reader engagement. She has worked at The Atlanta Journal and Constitution, The Gwinnett Daily News, and The Gainesville Sun covering lifestyle topics.

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If you’ve read any Anne Rice vampire novels, you might get a better understanding of how men deal with commitment. It’s much like the way they turn into vampires.

Once they are bitten (in this case, by love), they go into a cold sweat and begin to get nauseous. They try to resist the force that is overtaking them, but the power of love is just too strong.

This continues until they have gotten rid of all their mortal/single essence, at which point they collapse, become docile and fall into in a death-like sleep. When they awaken and regain their strength, they discover that their new being is better and more resilient.

You don’t really have to deal with commitment. Just love with all your heart, don’t run away, ignore the demons and commitment will deal with you. Just hang in there and let the process work.

Commitment doesn’t happen overnight like the vampire transformation. It is a long process, beginning with exclusive dating. It is perfectly normal to feel the walls closing in when the reality of lifetime partnership begins to appear closer on the horizon.

When you realize that person is the one you want to be with forever, you will feel like you are losing your freedom and independence. You will get cold feet and wonder if there is something better out there that you are missing.

Go ahead and shop around. You already know in your heart of hearts there is no one who could ever replace the love of your life. You can keep running away time after time, or you can just wait for the peaceful surrender.

One day you will awaken as your new, mature self. You will feel an ease with the knowledge that you want to forsake all others for all time in order to be with the one you love. You will understand that commitment is not a prison, but rather the key to a paradise and freedom you have never known.

The love of one person, which you have now unconditionally accepted and returned, has transformed you into a fully energized, activated and complete man.

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