I Can’t Get Over Him. How Do I Feel Happy Again?

Dr. Wendy Walsh

Written by: Dr. Wendy Walsh

Dr. Wendy Walsh

Known as America's Relationship Expert, Dr. Wendy Walsh is an award-winning television journalist, radio host & podcaster, and the author of three books on relationships and thousands of print and digital articles. More than 1.5 million people follow her sage advice on social media. She holds a Ph.D. in Clinical Psychology and teaches in the Psychology Department at California State University Channel Islands and has been the host of "The Dr. Wendy Walsh Show" on iHeart Radio's KFI AM 640 since 2015. Walsh is also a former Emmy-nominated co-host of "The Doctors," as well as former host of the nationally syndicated show "EXTRA." She was named a Time Magazine Person of the Year in 2017 after speaking out about harassment at a major news network.

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Edited by: Lillian Castro

Lillian Castro

Lillian Guevara-Castro brings more than 30 years of journalism experience to ensure DatingAdvice articles have been edited for overall clarity, accuracy, and reader engagement. She has worked at The Atlanta Journal and Constitution, The Gwinnett Daily News, and The Gainesville Sun covering lifestyle topics.

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Reader Question:

I can’t seem to get over this guy I met. We dated for two months last year and it was very intense. He inserted himself into every aspect of my life, visiting on weekends, calling every night and telling his mother about me.

Toward the end of the two months, he seemed to change and would sometimes become bitter and sarcastic with me. I also know he had recently increased his dosage of anti-depressants and would sometimes drink with them. The good side of him was great and I still miss him.

How do I feel happy again or meet someone who really excites me?

-Tom (Oregon)

Dr. Wendy Walsh’s Answer:

Dear Tom:

It sounds like you are best to be rid of this manic guy who moved too fast, ignored boundaries and put on an “intense” show for you.

I’m glad you saw a piece of his dark side, too. It sounds like this dude has a personality disorder.

But enough about him. Let me ask you why you found this soooo attractive.

Love isn’t supposed to be an intense. It is supposed to feel warm, safe and protective. No one can keep up the energy that this guy did for very long.

It sounds like you are more attracted to the intensity than the intimacy. And it’s intimacy that makes for healthy relationships.

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