Is Your Date “The One”?
|Dr. Wendy Walsh • 7/06/12|
Men and women today are constantly scrolling through pages and pages of potential dates, hoping to find “The One.” Newsflash everyone: There is far more than one good mate for you. There are many.
On the quest for a mate, some women judge their men on looks, money and sexual chemistry, turning today’s dating culture into a never-ending game of trying to find Mr. Perfect, rather than creating a smart, sound, rational relationship.
Put intellectual thought into it.
I can hear you now, “But we finish each other’s sentences and we have the same taste in music and movies. And we have such hot sexual chemistry!” The list goes on, right?
Sure, pop culture compatibility is key in romantic relationships, but it’s time daters today put a little more intellectual thought and a little less daydreaming in their dating decisions.
You don’t want to spend half of your life looking for “The One” and sacrifice your cherished fertility years.
Romantic love clashes with today’s culture.
I bet all of this is sounding a bit crazy, but chew on this: Historically, romantic love has been a means to keep women submissive and oppressed. And those submissive women spent most of their marriage answering to their husband’s barking orders.
Romantic love clashes with today’s culture. Now that women are becoming more educated, it’s only natural that we return to rational love. Today, women have power and choice, and if they want a successful relationship, they need to exercise that power!
“Just be sure that when it comes to
choosing your partner, you use your head.”
Begin with friendship.
And back to your argument that you two have the best sexual chemistry. Sorry, but that’s a myth. Relationships that begin with a friendship score higher on happiness, faithfulness and longevity. This means you need to find that strength from deep within and make practical decisions when it comes to your dating life. Not butterflies in your stomach practical.
Think about your long-term goals. The man who can’t afford to buy you diamonds and take you to five-star restaurants may, in turn, make a great father, and that is much more valuable in the long run.
The guy who might be balding or inferior in the height department might turn out to have great financial intelligence. That office buddy might have great emotional intelligence that will sustain you for a lifetime.
Going for what’s hot or waiting for a bigger, better deal can hurt your chances for finding a commitment-oriented man.
Don’t think that because your romantic relationship is rational, that it’s just a business transaction and it can’t be romantic. Just be sure that when it comes to choosing your partner, you use your head.
And when you do choose someone, show them that you love them. Love is a lot more than a word.