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Some people want to dive right back into dating after getting out of a marriage, while others are once bitten, twice shy.
Regardless of your love history, it’s perfectly natural to want to find love again. I believe it is possible because I found a great love after my divorce, but it took a while for me to get my groove back and enjoy the process.
My grandmother used to say, “There’s a lid for every pot.” Sometimes you just need to know a few things to find your best lid and have fun doing it.
Here are a few things I wish I’d known about dating after divorce:
1. You’ll need time to process your previous relationship.
Give yourself the time to make a list of the lessons you were meant to learn. Then forgive everyone who needs forgiving, such as yourself and/or your ex, forget the rest and move on.
2. Think of dating as an adventure, not a means to an end.
You don’t know how long it will take to find the perfect person for you, so enjoy it!
Use your dates as opportunities to do things you like to do, such as seeing movies, playing golf, going bowling or trying out new clubs or restaurants.
“When you least expect it, the love
of your life will show up.”
3. You’re older and wiser and that’s a great thing.
If you give it some thought, you know exactly what you want and what you don’t want. Jot those thoughts down and use them to help filter through the possibilities.
4. Craft your purpose for dating.
In my book, “The Successful Single Mom Finds Love,” I advise readers to craft a purpose for dating.
Are you dating because you want to get married? Have kids or more kids? Or just have someone to take home on holidays and enjoy the occasional night of fun, sexy time?
Define what you want and share it shamelessly with the people you’re dating. It’s refreshing, and it will prevent unnecessary pain and suffering.
5. Others have advice. You have the answers.
You know what’s right for you when it comes to your love life, so do what makes you happy – starting right now. Trust yourself, your desires and your intuition. And for goodness sake, have fun!
Just when you least expect it, the love of your life will show up. And you know what? You deserve it! Happy dating!
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