Why Hasn’t He Proposed?

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Dr. Wendy Walsh
Lillian Castro

By: Dr. Wendy Walsh

Editor: Lillian Castro

Our dating experts guide readers step-by-step through relationship challenges and romantic decisions in our popular series of advice articles.

I know the deal. You’ve found a great guy. You’ve gone through all the steps and stages to become exclusive boyfriend and girlfriend.

Your parents have met. Your friends love him. And you’ve told each other over and over you love each other.

So, why hasn’t he proposed? Well, the answer comes down to four possible reasons. It could be one or more.

1. It hasn’t been long enough.

Women fall in love much faster than men. Plenty of women are dreaming about a dress and an alter after three months into a relationship.

But men work a lot slower. If it hasn’t been at least one calendar year since you began to be exclusive and call yourselves a couple, it’s probably too early to think about a proposal.

2. It’s been too long.

If you’ve been a couple so long the romance is already waning and you’ve reached the doldrums of couplehood, then you may have missed your moment.

If you’ve made life way too comfortable for him by moving in and setting up a household without a commitment, it’ll be even harder to get a proposal.

If you’re cohabitating, you may have to issue an ultimatum and live it out to get what you want.

If you’ve just been dating too many years, you’ve got to delve into your own separate interests and become happy and busy.

 

“Some men make great boyfriends.

Others make great bed mates.”

3. You haven’t required it.

Newsflash to sweet girlfriends who think men think like women: It doesn’t just occur to a man to propose. You have to drag that horse to water.

Purchase bridal magazines and leave them around the house. You’ll find there are no groom magazines.

Go house hunting. Tell him great stories of your friend’s unique proposals.

If all that fails, tell him plainly you would like to be engaged by a certain date and if that date passes, you must move on.

4. He’s not the marrying kind.

Some men make great boyfriends. Others make great bed mates.

But not all men are husband material. And they usually know who they are.

Think long and hard about if you’d want a proposal from this dude anyway.

Could you see him doing a 2 a.m. feeding or puttering on a DIY day at home? Is this the kind of guy who will take one for the team and spend the holidays with your family?

Even if you drag this horse to water, you may be left with a cantankerous stallion.

Not all men are the marrying kind.

Photo source: theteachergeek.com.

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About the Author

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Dr. Wendy Walsh

By: Dr. Wendy Walsh

Women's Dating Expert

Known as America's Relationship Expert, Dr. Wendy Walsh is an award-winning television journalist, radio host & podcaster, and the author of three books on relationships and thousands of print and digital articles. More than 1.5 million people follow her sage advice on social media. She holds a Ph.D. in Clinical Psychology and teaches in the Psychology Department at California State University Channel Islands and has been the host of "The Dr. Wendy Walsh Show" on iHeart Radio's KFI AM 640 since 2015. Walsh is also a former Emmy-nominated co-host of "The Doctors," as well as former host of the nationally syndicated show "EXTRA." She was named a Time Magazine Person of the Year in 2017 after speaking out about harassment at a major news network.

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