What Is the Meaning of Romance?

If you’re searching for the meaning of romance, you may have a hard time finding an exact answer. What romance means to me is not necessarily what it means to you, your hairdresser, or your best friend. Someone might consider a public proposal in front of a stadium to be romantic…but for an introvert like me? I shudder at the thought. 

While we may not all be able to agree on what counts as romantic, there are some universal truths about how it makes you feel. It’s not just the butterflies you feel on a first date or the infatuation of a new love. 

Romance is a genuine feeling of love and a strong attraction to someone you truly care about. 

Keith Clemson, Ph.D. said it best when he said, “Romance, at any stage of a relationship, helps solidify our bonds and reminds us of our relative uniqueness to our partners.” Romance is the thing that continues to water a relationship and help it blossom to its fullest potential. 

I am going to embrace my hopeful romantic side for a bit and explain the importance of romance in relationships and, more importantly,  how you can apply it to yours. 

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Even if you’re not in a relationship, you can always prepare yourself for romance. The best way to ready yourself for love is by asking yourself questions and figuring out what you want in a partner before your dating pursuit. That way when you do meet Mr. or Ms. Right, you’ll be ready to welcome romance into your life properly. 

Be True to Yourself

Everyone has certain expectations when it comes to dating and finding love. While it’s natural to bend just a bit, it’s important to remain true to yourself and your values. 

If you neglect your needs and desires in a relationship, you might end up feeling unsatisfied or unhappy. 

You can get lost in romance. You might start to lose sight of who you are and get in the habit of serving others rather than yourself. To avoid this, before getting into a relationship, you should get to know yourself. 

Asking questions such as “How do I want to be loved?” or “What values am I not willing to compromise,” will help you stay true. 

Find the Right Partner

If I could give my teenage self some advice, I’d say you don’t want to date just anyone. If you lower your standards, you’ll find yourself in a relationship you don’t want to be in. 

Romance comes when you find the right partner to love. When scouting the dating scene, there’s no shame in having dealbreakers or knowing certain qualities you want in a partner. 

Family and Marriage Counselor Jousline Savra shared that people should look for a friendship and a feeling like home in a potential partner. 

My advice is to take things slow when dating and keep your options open. Don’t settle down with someone if you have doubts about their long-term compatibility with you.

“Think of the friends you most enjoy hanging out with. When choosing a life partner, make sure they are a good friend and you enjoy spending time with them,” advised Jousline. 

Say Yes to Infatuation

I know you must be thinking, “Say yes to infatuation? I thought we were looking for long-term love here!” The truth is that you can have both. The early stages of a relationship can be pretty awkward but a lot of fun. Embrace feelings of infatuation, even if it’s nerve-wracking. 

Certain past traumas or heartache can block you from going further in your relationship. This is understandable, but you have to open your heart to love and be loved. 

Getting to a point of saying yes may take time, but with help from therapists, dating experts, and other professionals, it’s possible to get there. 

Without having to say, “I love you,” all the time (although there’s nothing wrong with that) couples can still maintain a relationship filled with romance. Romantic gestures are one of the best ways to show someone you love and care about them. Romance takes work, and sometimes actions speak louder than words. 

Gifts & Favors

Whether it’s expensive or cheap, a thoughtful gift can bump up the romance in your relationship. Gift-giving is a small token of your appreciation and adoration for your partner. It’s a great way to confirm to your partner where you stand in the relationship.   

Knowing what your partner loves is the first step in selecting the right gift. 

Pay attention to the little details like what jewelry or watches they wear and what purchases they wish to make but hold off doing. 

Also, be spontaneous every once in a while by surprising your partner with flowers or lunch at their job. 

Favors are a great way to keep the romance alive in a relationship. Breakfast in bed or taking care of all the house chores can go a long way in showing your partner you love them. 

Surprise Date Nights or Excursions

Couples should go on date nights regularly to ensure that the romance in the relationship never dies. 

Whether it’s a candlelit dinner at a restaurant or a night in watching movies, special dates serve as a way for couples to spend quality time with one another. 

When couples stop going on date nights, their relationship often lacks romance.

Therapists also encourage couples to participate in excursions so that they can reach a deeper level of intimacy. Doing fun activities with your partner reduces stress and challenges the relationship positively. 

Love Letters

If you’re like me, you love receiving cards with words that will rip you into pieces — in a good way. Love letters are a fun way to express how you feel about someone without having to say it face-to-face. 

Leave a note in your partner’s lunch box or attach it to a bouquet. 

“Shall I compare thee to a summer’s day? Because you’re a hottie!“

Words stick with us and it’s always nice to go back to a card to read your partner’s kind words, especially during tough times. 

Cooking Dinner or Breakfast in Bed

Life can get busy, and coming home to handle certain chores, such as cooking dinner, can be a hassle. Taking this load off your partner’s shoulder is a romantic gesture that will not go unnoticed.

Cooking dinner or breakfast in bed is a form of catering that offers your partner a chance to simply relax. 

The added benefit is it doesn’t cost much to show your love this way.

Similar to any skyscraper, a relationship is only as strong as its foundation. By setting boundaries and establishing good communication, couples can create a healthy foundation that will help get them through the highs and lows of everyday life. 

Improve Your Communication Skills

Couples must form healthy communication patterns in their relationships. It is only through effective communication that you can express how you truly feel to your partner. Without healthy communication, a relationship isn’t able to properly navigate challenges because of its unstable foundation. 

Statistics show that 67.5% of relationships end due to a lack of communication. It’s a common issue that everyone faces and shouldn’t put to the side. 

Couples who are struggling with communication should seek help from professionals who can provide communication exercises and expert advice. 

Establish Emotional & Physical Intimacy

Emotional and physical intimacy brings people closer together. During those intimate alone times, people are more vulnerable and feel connected. According to dating experts, feelings of intimacy is the foundation for a rich and loving relationship. 

Tending to the intimacy of a relationship benefits the overall trust and support a couple has for one another. The path of intimacy isn’t linear. It takes time to invest in another person, but doing so goes a long way in creating a stronger relationship.  

Recognize Red Flags & Dealbreakers

When problems and differences arise, sometimes it feels better to ignore them than bring them up to a significant other. Although your intentions may be good, not discussing your true feelings will hurt you in the long run and create miscommunications and conflicts. 

Romantic dealbreakers are important topics that need to be discussed in the early stages of a new romance. 

Bring up any red flags and dealbreakers to your partner. It may not be easy, but you can’t afford to let it slide. First, ask yourself, “Why is this a red flag?” or “Why is this a dealbreaker?” so you can communicate better with your partner. 

Television, books, and movies have shaped how we view love. Some of our favorite romance novels and films are where we were first introduced to the concept of romantic love. I want to talk about some popular stories that share important messages about romance that we can apply to our relationships.  

“The Notebook” – Family Approval Doesn’t Matter

I’m going to assume you’re a Nicholas Sparks fan because, honestly, who doesn’t love “The Notebook” — both the movie and book are perfectly sappy and sweet. And Ryan Gosling in the rain? Yes, please.

The story of Noah and Allie is a true tearjerker. From the very beginning, the two faced challenges as they had to overcome the demanding expectations from Allie’s parents and their class differences.

At the end of the day, the couple overcame their differences and realized that the only approval that they needed was their own. 

Noah and Allie’s story shows us that when two people truly love one another and put in effort, the relationship will work. Romance is formed through persistence and trial and error. 

“The Duke and I” – Friendship Can Lead to Love

“The Duke and I” is a fan-favorite from the Bridgerton series (I recommend binge-watching it on Netflix). What started originally as a fake courtship turned into a genuine friendship that led to love. Daphne and Simone’s love story is the perfect example that friendship is a key part of a romance. 

A lot of romance stories start with two people as friends who realize they have deeper feelings. Knowing when to cross that line into dating is tricky but when you do, you might just end up with the Duke of Hastings. 

“The Time Traveler’s Wife” – Love is Timeless

“The Time Traveler’s Wife” teaches us the importance of growing together over time.

Romance has a way of making us anxious about the future. But Henry’s and Clare’s love revealed just how important being present in love is. 

As Henry travels back and forth at different stages of his life, his love for Clare is the one thing that remains constant. Even though it may seem like love is fleeting, true romance is timeless when you surrender to it. 

“Twilight” – True Bonds Are Hard to Ignore

The Twilight Saga was my first introduction to romance –– and I’m sure I’m not the only one. Although vampires and werewolves are mythical creatures (that we know of), the romance that the trio of Bella, Edward, and Jacob felt all too real. 

One of the key takeaways I learned from “Twilight” is that certain feelings can’t be ignored. Sometimes two people are simply drawn to each other, and that’s a rare thing to be embraced rather than fought. After all, romance isn’t something that we find every day. 

Romance means staying faithful and committed through the years. The desire to grow with your partner shouldn’t change over time. And thanks to the many resources available now, couples can set goals to keep romance at the forefront of their relationship. 

Set Mutual Goals & Celebrate Milestones

Making goals within a relationship is a healthy way to look forward with your partner. Maybe you want to save for a house or change your diets to maintain your health. Either way, couples bond over working toward shared goals. 

Make goals with your partner to avoid any stagnation in the relationship. You both should continue to work toward personal improvement. 

Celebrating milestones is how we show a significant other we care, and it’s important to cheer on your partner’s success in life.

Whether it’s a new career or a graduation day, be present with your partner and take pride in those achievements.

Consider Long-Term Compatibility

Don’t date someone you can’t see yourself being with long-term. Life’s too short to settle for second-rate dates. Compatibility is an important factor in the dating world, even if you’re early in a courtship.

While 100% compatibility doesn’t exist, you should date people who have more things in common with you and see the world in a similar way. 

Consider long-term compatibility when choosing your dates because that’ll only benefit you as the romance grows. 

I don’t mean every date you go on has to be a perfect match — that’s not realistic — but you have to be able to see yourself growing in love with someone.

Consider whether you’re compatible by thinking of your shared hobbies or interests, conversational banter, and comfortability being yourself around them. 

Keep the Spark Alive

You may remember the feeling of romantic sparks when you were a teen going on a first date to the movies. Those feelings of romance shouldn’t end with adulthood. The spark of romance should grow into a flame of love as relationships go on.

As I’ve learned in my long-distance relationship, bonds grow through shared experiences and quality time, and that takes effort to maintain. 

The moment that people get too complacent in their relationship and no longer want to impress one another – that’s when there’s trouble in paradise. 

Couples should stay persistent in keeping the spark alive by keeping up with date nights and being open-minded to spontaneous adventures. 

“Because expressions of love often arise when couples feel connected, the intervention might focus on increasing opportunities for connection such as increasing enjoyable activities and demonstrations of support, care, and gratitude,” said researchers Weber and Baucom in a Psychology Today article. 

Romance is all around you, and with the right nurturing, it can last a lifetime. Couples in an established relationship can keep the romance going by paying attention to each other’s needs and intentionally trying to meet those needs.

You can strengthen your romance any time you make time for your significant other and stay steadfast in tough times. 

Relationships may face different constraints and conflicts that can make you feel like the romance is gone. But regardless of the battles ahead, you have the power to create and maintain the romance in your relationship — if you are willing to put in the time.