Everything You Need to Know to Have a Successful Date Night

Date nights are the glue that keeps a relationship going. A date night is an intentional, planned occasion where couples set aside time to focus on each other and nurture their relationship.

A lot of people love the cupcake stage of relationships because that’s when couples invest more energy and dedicate time to going on dates — but what if I told you that the cupcake stage doesn’t have to be a stage at all? 

Whether it’s once a week or every other weekend, date nights provide a special space for couples to tap into their romance and spend some much-needed quality time together.

In this guide, we will discuss the elements of successful date nights and how they can benefit your relationship in the long run. 

Date night is more than just a fun night out with your partner. Its purpose is to connect with your partner in a way that is fun and exciting for both of you. What that looks like is totally up to you, but at the end of the night, you should feel closer and refreshed in your relationship. 

Establishing an Emotional Connection 

Emotional connections aren’t just formed at the beginning of your relationship. It’s an ongoing process where couples have to intentionally invest in one another and find ways to connect emotionally. Lucky for them, date nights are the best way to do just that! 

Uninterrupted time makes it easier for you and your partner to be vulnerable. It’s during these intimate moments that people can truly check in on their partner and discuss their emotions. 

If you’re like me, words of affirmation are important in your relationship. During date nights, couples can tap into a new level of emotional intimacy by expressing their feelings for one another. 

Don’t assume that your partner knows that you love them – plan a romantic evening and say how you feel.

Breaking Free from Routine 

I know some of my friends prefer a daily routine because it keeps them centered and organized, but life isn’t always organized, and you have to be ready to venture off schedule every once in a while. Date nights can serve as a way to break free from the monotony of daily life and refresh your relationships. 

Many dating coaches advise that too much routine in a relationship can cause stagnation and poor connection. Routine has its benefits, but too much of it can wear on a person. 

Switching things up and finding a good balance of routine and spontaneity in your relationship will help. It is fine if your date nights are every Friday night, but choose something new to do each time, and leave room for dates to change. Keep the spontaneity alive, and the relationship will thrive.

Fostering Communication

Daters should create an environment that promotes conversation. Whether it’s over a candlelight dinner or bowling pins, date nights are the perfect time to have meaningful conversations with your partner. 

Research shows that a lack of communication in a relationship often leads to divorce and breakups. With life’s responsibilities, some couples might go days or even weeks without really talking. That’s why date nights are so important: They serve as a chance to improve communication within a relationship. 

“Our date nights helped keep the spark in our relationship alive and allowed us to connect as a couple rather than just as co-parents. Plus, our date nights gave us something to look forward to when times get tough,” said writer Julie Taylor. 

A successful date night is usually well-planned. Couples need to reconcile their schedules, interests, and budgets to get the best results. When planning your next date night, here are some things you should keep in mind. 

Dedicate the Time

Couples are busy. Jobs, hobbies, and family life can complicate making time for a date. Planning well ahead will ensure the date goes smoothly. If you fail to do so, you might encounter a mishap such as an overbooked restaurant or your babysitter canceling at the last minute.

Coordinate your schedules to find a time that works for you and your partner. If you’re not sure where to start, check out lists of date ideas or things to do in town to get inspiration.

Time is valuable, so dedicating your time to plan a date night also indicates to your significant other that you mean business. There’s no better way to show someone that they’re a priority in your life than a planned romantic evening where all they have to do is show up.

Set a Budget

Date night doesn’t need to be extravagant – it just needs to be special. I’ve heard a lot of people claim that they can’t go on date nights because they don’t have the funds, but going to five-star restaurants is not a requirement. 

Some date activities may require more spending money than others, but at the end of the day, there is always something for couples to do. 

Considering your budget is the next step when planning your date night. Money can get in the way of relationships, so coming to an agreement on how much should be spent during date night is key. Whether you’re spending $20 on a pizza and a movie at home or $100 on a fine dining table for two, what matters the most is not the budget but the time spent together. 

Identify Shared Interests

From classic dinner dates to outdoor adventures, there is an abundance of activities that you and your partner can do for date nights. Couples should tailor activities toward their shared interests. If you and your partner love cooking at home, try something new and go take a cooking class. 

Shared interests are a key component of what makes date night fun. Doing something that’s fun for one person but not the other can kill the vibe, so it’s best to either find something you both would enjoy or branch out and try something new together. 

This brings me to my next point –– date nights are also great opportunities to explore and learn new skills! Instead of getting the same dish at your favorite restaurant, take dancing lessons or go hiking. It’s during these moments that couples, regardless of how long they’ve been together, continue to learn about one another. 

Keeping what’s exciting for you and your partner at the forefront will help you decide what fun adventure you two should go on next. 

1. Classic Dinner & a Movie

You can never go wrong with the traditional dinner-and-movie combination. It’s the perfect way to spend one-on-one time with your partner over a great meal while also being entertained by a movie to wrap things up. 

For the dining experience, choose a restaurant that has a romantic ambiance and delicious cuisine. You should also consider the noise level when selecting a restaurant. Some restaurants are more intimate and adult-only, which makes it easier for couples to have deep conversations. 

A lot of people recommend daters avoid having dinner and a movie for the first date because it doesn’t leave that much room to talk to one another –– but I like to think otherwise. Going to the movies is a great way to get to know someone without having to say words. Watching how they respond to jump scares or a romantic scene can tell you a lot about someone. 

2. Outdoor Adventures 

It’s nice to go outside and get some fresh air every once in a while. Luckily, date nights aren’t limited to the indoor scenery. For outdoor enthusiasts, exploring nature or trying new outdoor activities may be the perfect date night.

Different outdoor activities are great for date nights that range in price and activity level. If you’re OK with being on the water, consider going on a romantic boat ride, kayaking, or river rafting. The beach is another outdoor date idea to get under the sun with your love. 

Physical activities are one of the best ways to freshen up date night –– especially if you’ve been missing a few days at the gym. Take an outdoor fitness class together, go cycling, or go to the driving range. 

“Last summer, the guy I was dating took me to this really cool driving range in New York City that was right on the water and had amazing views. We went at night so he could give me some hands-on adjustments with my swing without fear of onlookers. It was really fun and different from a typical summer night of mini-golf,” said Anna, a woman from Connecticut. 

3. Game Night or “Netflix & Chill”

Cozy evenings staying home with my boyfriend are honestly my favorite date nights. Not only are they intimate, they’re also convenient and affordable. After a long day of work, it can be a drag to have to go out, so we tend to plan dates that allow us to stay at home. 

As I mentioned earlier, date nights don’t always have to be extravagant. Cooking a meal together or watching a movie will do just fine. Recently, many people have grown fond of staying at home to Netflix and chill, both literally and (if things go well) figuratively.

Game nights are also a great way to get the blood pumping and unleash your competitiveness. You can play classic board games such as Scrabble or video games. Couples also choose to use game nights to play games that will help them get to know one another.

4. Live Performances & Exhibits

Attending concerts, museums, or any theatrical performances are all great date options for couples because they add a different level of excitement. You can watch your favorite artist performing with your significant other right by your side. 

Some of my favorite dates have been attending concerts or comedy shows with my boyfriend. We share similar tastes in music and performers, so it’s easy for us to connect and bond over live performances. We’re not the only ones! Many couples recognize that fun outings such as concerts are great date opportunities.

“Not only are outdoor concerts and performances really fun, they’re often free,” said Texas native Nicole in a Muscle and Fitness article. “I love sitting outside, enjoying the weather, sipping a beer, and singing along with the music with my fiancé. Without a doubt, it’s one of my favorite summertime dates.”

Dates that intellectually stimulate your mind are worth going on as well –– and you don’t have to be a brainiac to agree with me. Art galleries or history museums are great places for first dates because conversations are bound to flow. These types of settings allow you to broaden your thinking while engaging with your date in meaningful discussions.  

Date nights aren’t just for temporary satisfaction. There are long-lasting benefits when you dedicate time to spend with your partner. Engaging in regular date nights creates a healthier relationship overall.

Strengthening the Relationship 

Regular date nights contribute to a resilient and supportive relationship. A relationship can withstand the ups and downs of life if it has a strong foundation of friendship and romance. Date nights contribute to that foundation and increase the chances of a successful relationship. 

“Make dedicated, non-negotiable time for each other a priority, and never stop being curious about your partner.” -Dr. John Gottman and Dr. Julia Schwartz Gottman

The Gottman Institute draws from decades of psychological research to recommend couples spend at least two hours a week on date nights.

According to their book “Eight Dates,” couples can take meaningful action to improve their relationships almost immediately. Dr. John Gottman and his wife and co-author Dr. Julia Schwartz Gottman advise couples, “Make dedicated, non-negotiable time for each other a priority, and never stop being curious about your partner.”

Improving Overall Happiness and Satisfaction

Often, when people say they aren’t happy in their relationships, it’s because of a loss of passion. According to statistics, couples who incorporate date nights regularly are more likely to report being happier in their relationships. 

Before you raise the white flag and break up, try incorporating more date nights to increase your relationship satisfaction. 

Relationships are like plants that constantly need tending to survive. The moment you stop watering your relationship it’ll start to wither away.

“Couples who devote time specifically to dating one another at least once or twice a month are markedly more likely to report better relationship quality compared to couples who do not go on dates as often,” said Jeffrey Dew, a fellow at the Wheatley Institute. 

The secret to a happy relationship is not so secret– you need to constantly date your partner. What a lot of people fail to understand is that dating your partner does not begin and stop on the first date. Actively pursue your partner by making plans for dates and giving your undivided attention when you’re together.

While love is the spark that inspires a relationship, it is the work and effort that makes it last. Couples should prioritize date nights to ensure their emotional connection and intimacy won’t fade. 

“Date nights are like preventative care in a relationship. And once there’s a fracture in the relationship (big or small) and the wound starts, if you aren’t quick to patch it up, it becomes so huge and devastating you don’t even know how to begin to heal it,” said Diana Park in her blog.

Diana shared how she believed her marriage could have been saved had she and her ex-husband gone on more date nights. Similar to Diana’s story, a lot of couples find it challenging to go on dates due to other life responsibilities but making date night a priority will surely help your relationship in more ways than one.