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While searching for Mr. Right, it is easy to get caught up in a fantasy about love or a fairy-tale ending. Romance feels exhilarating and fun, but will it lead you to the lasting love you are looking for?
You are moving in the right direction in finding a man worthy of your admiration and love when you pay attention to his personal qualities and spend time getting to know him beyond his looks.
You are on the right track when you make connecting on a deeper level as important as your sexual attraction to him.
Below are several strategies to help you determine if your date is right for you.
Physical attraction plays an important role in sex and intimacy, although connecting on a deeper emotional level is what leads to love and long-term commitment.
Be careful not to equate sexual chemistry with emotional connection. Ideally you will have both and they will grow together.
Don’t get caught up in his job title, status, income or appearance.
Ask questions to discover if you like him enough to connect with him on a heart and soul level. Strive to be engaged with him and not just how he looks in person or on paper.
“Connecting on a deeper emotional level is what
leads to love and long-term commitment.”
Learn about his values, goals, passions, hopes and priorities.
Are his things (cars, electronics, sports gear) more important than his relationships? Is he more connected to his sports team than his social life?
Do your beliefs about marriage and children match? Do you share common interests and values?
Does he seem like a truthful person who you can trust? He may talk the talk, but can he walk the walk?
Listen for clues about his integrity and reliability. Does he maintain eye contact, talk highly of his friends, show an interest in you and admit when he has made a mistake?
If he blames others for everything going wrong in his life, he may not be Mr. Right.
Ditch your preconceived notions, anxious thoughts and concerns about how he feels about you. I like to call it getting out of your head and back into your life.
When you notice your thoughts (or nerves) are taking over and you are missing the date, try a mindfulness exercise.
Take several deep breaths and plant your feet firmly into the ground to bring awareness to your body and visualize feeling grounded. Then get back to engaging.
Ladies, how do you intend to meet your real Prince Charming? Maybe you should start the search now on a trusted dating site like Match and see who’s out there.