5 Ways To Stop Obsessing Over Your Ex

Men's Dating

5 Ways to Stop Obsessing Over Your Ex

Kevin Thompson

Written by: Kevin Thompson

Kevin Thompson

Kevin writes about breakups and getting your ex back at unbreakup.org. You can also follow him on Facebook or Twitter.

Edited by: Lillian Castro

Lillian Castro

Lillian Guevara-Castro brings more than 30 years of journalism experience to ensure DatingAdvice articles and reports have been edited for overall clarity, accuracy, and reader engagement.

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The more you try to stop thinking about something, the more you seem to think about it. It’s almost like the mind is rebelling against you.

It’s especially hard when you are trying to not think about someone who you loved dearly and possibly still have feelings for.

I mean, it’s hard enough you should deal with the pain of breaking up and learn to be single again.

The best way to deal with obsessive thoughts about your ex is to realize you are separate from your mind. Instead of trying to control the thoughts, separate yourself from the thoughts.

The fact is you don’t control your thoughts, but your thoughts control you. You let your thoughts give you emotions, make you call your ex at 2 a.m. or convince you to eat that big bowl of ice cream just because you were feeling lonely.

And it’s your thoughts that make you obsess over an ex, even when you desperately want to stop it.

But if you just look at these obsessive thoughts as your mind’s way to cope with the breakup, suddenly they don’t have so much power over you.

Do not try to stop these thoughts from coming, and do not panic when they do come. Instead, just look at the thoughts as a cloud passing over your head. Let it pass without letting it affect you in any way.

You cannot stop these obsessive thoughts, but you can take away their power over you. When you do, your mind slowly learns they are not important and they stop arriving all together.

I realize it’s easier said than done. That’s why you need a few techniques in your arsenal to battle with these thoughts.

1. Keep a journal.

Writing down your thoughts can make your brain realize it’s recorded and it doesn’t need to remind you again and again of certain thing.

However, make sure you don’t dwell only in the past. When you are writing about the breakup or your ex, make sure you are writing both the positive and negative of both your relationship and your ex.

The purpose of writing should be to organize your thoughts, not to let your thoughts control what you write.

“Give yourself time to obsess every day. Just

make sure it’s not more than an hour.”

2. Think about your goals in life.

What do you want in your career, your health and your relationships? Try to imagine a future without your ex and force yourself to imagine yourself being happy without your ex.

In fact, your goals without your ex is a great thing to write in your journal.

3. Give yourself some time to obsess every day.

Just make sure it’s not more than an hour and try to keep it organized.

4. Meditate.

Meditation is like exercising your brain. You make your consciousness stronger and you learn to separate yourself from your thoughts.

Although, make sure you are not trying to control or suppress your thoughts during meditation. If you do, your mind might rebel later on in the form of excessive obsession.

5. Work out.

Physical exercise releases endorphins which are the chemicals your body produces to keep you happy and stress-free.

On top of that, getting in shape is going to give your mind something positive to think about.

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