Are You Having Textual Intercourse

Gay Dating

Are You Having Textual Intercourse?

Daniel Warner

Written by: Daniel Warner

Daniel Warner

Daniel Warner is a London-based writer, blogger and journalist who has been published online and in print globally. He is a featured blogger for The Huffington Post and the creator of

Edited by: Lillian Castro

Lillian Castro

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In an age where we can use our cell phone to tell if there is another gay guy within a 100-mile radius, it has become all too easy to forget about the flirting, curtail all the cruising and immediately start sexing with the texting.

But what happens after the first meet, date, rendezvous or hookup?

Have phone apps replaced our need for intimacy with a need for immediately? And what happens if the guy you’ve just met randomly could be the one you really want to see regularly?

How difficult is it for us to make the first move after we’ve already had the moves made on us?

A date made on a phone app leaves us with an old-fashioned dilemma.

Who texts who after the initial meet?

The use of phone apps such as Scruff or Grindr have taken all of the effort out of actually meeting someone.

We can now go to a bar and instead of buying a drink, looking around and making eye contact with someone we find attractive, we can buy a drink, look at our cell phone and make phone contact with the one we find attractive. And it’s normally not their eyes we are looking into but some other part of their anatomy.

I’ve forgotten how to interact socially with guys in a bar. If you take my cell phone from my hand, I’m as lost as ET trying to phone home with a wire coat hanger and an etch-a-sketch.

When did we forget to make eye contact, smile and introduce ourselves in person rather than in a series of photographs and sexual innuendos?

And how many photographs have we taken of ourselves in our bathrooms and then Instagrammed so we look like an out-of-focus glamor shot of a long forgotten movie idol?

“What happens when we meet

the man of our dreams face to face?”

The use of cell phones/smartphones and dating apps has led us all to create an airbrushed image of perfection. The selfies we take in the bathroom mirror are now the ideal we all need to live up to.

Grindr and Scruff have made us all legends in our own bathrooms, but what happens when we finally meet the man of our (phone screen) dreams face to face?

Technology is a wonderful thing. It’s like the most fabulous pair of beer goggles for those of us who don’t drink. What we think looks incredibly attractive after three shots of tequila has been airbrushed by a phone app (without even a lick of a beer bottle touching our liquor-free lips).

Let me ask you this age-old question:

After you’ve met by phone, texted, swapped photographs, discussed who will be doing what to who and when and how it’s going to happen, then you finally have to meet face to face.

Who’s the first one to tell the other you’ve got nothing left to say? How do you part when it’s mostly been your fingers doing all the talking? Do you say it with words? Flowers? By letter?

Or should you just send a text?

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