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Take a look at this dating profile and tell me if it looks familiar. This is the Factoid Profile:
“My name is ____. I am an easygoing guy. I just moved here from ___ for my job. Don’t really know very many people yet, so I’m just on this thing looking to see what else is out there. I was born in ___. I went to college at ____ and studied _____. Right now I’m working for ______ as a_______. What can I say, it pays the bills.
For fun I like to hang out with my friends. I’m close with my family, even though I don’t get to see them as much as I’d like. Um what else? I like to watch ____. I guess anything else you want to know just ask. I’m an open book. Hope to hear from you soon.”
Many people think the same way when they sit down to write a profile, which means many profiles end up looking the same.
You don’t want to look the same as others because you are unique, an individual.
The problem is many daters don’t read enough of other people’s profiles to know theirs is so similar to so many of their peers.
Remember watching Charlie Brown and the teacher would come in and she had no head or identity?
Everything she said was just interpreted as “wah, waw, wha waw-waw wah.”
That’s how a girl feels when she reads this — you’re the teacher and the girl is Lucy, falling asleep.
You have no identity, nothing you have said has resonated, and you’re completely indistinguishable.
Seriously, this profile is like a vapid Mad Libs. Just fill in the blanks with your specific details.
“No one reads that profile
and feels like they know you.”
And I understand why.
When you are asked to describe yourself, facts are the easiest way to establish details about you.
Unfortunately, it’s not going to get you anywhere in terms of attracting a female.
I know you’ve gone on a date and the person sitting across from you grills you with questions like you’re on a job interview:
At best, it was doable. At worst, you felt pressured and attacked. Those dates are never fun.
The best dates are the ones that made you FEEL something, right?
Whether you felt listened to, understood or entertained, it was the emotional hook that made you want to see this person again.
All of the questions above were fact questions. They reveal facts about you, but they don’t reveal you.
That’s why I don’t want you to make a fact-oriented profile — it doesn’t allow you to connect with a potential date.
No one reads that profile and feels like they know you, rather they know things about you.
Today’s lesson is: Avoid the factoids. Be more original than that.