Good Persistence Versus Bad Persistence

Men's Dating

Good Persistence Versus Bad Persistence

Robert Rodriguez

Written by: Robert Rodriguez

Robert Rodriguez

I am a dating and self-actualization coach based in Austin, Texas. I have trained with some of the best in the seduction industry. My areas of expertise include dating, online dating, body language, meeting in bars, text game and inner game. You can send me an email at

Edited by: Lillian Castro

Lillian Castro

Lillian Guevara-Castro brings more than 30 years of journalism experience to ensure DatingAdvice articles have been edited for overall clarity, accuracy, and reader engagement. She has worked at The Atlanta Journal and Constitution, The Gwinnett Daily News, and The Gainesville Sun covering lifestyle topics.

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You should go for what you want, right? It’s a simple question, but the answer needs a little bit more explanation in the dating world.

When it comes to persistence with women, there are two different scenarios guys usually fall into.

There is the guy who keeps trying and the girl doesn’t respond or asks him to go away, and then there is the guy who keeps trying and gets the girl.

What makes these guys different? And why do they get different results?

For most guys, this is a mystery.

Mentality is the first difference and awareness is the second.

First, let’s look at mentality.

The mentality of the guy who gets success is much different. He wants the girls but doesn’t need her.

If he doesn’t get the girl, he may feel bad for a short time, but overall he feels great because he is secure and centered in who he is.

The guy who doesn’t get results and is persistent is usually coming from the angle of wanting and needing the girl. When he doesn’t get the girl, he judges himself and generally feels bad about himself and who he is.

He also will spend hours of his time needlessly replaying the same negative thoughts in his head.

“Persistence is good if

you know how to use it.”

The second aspect of persistence is awareness.

The guy who gets results is aware of queues the girl gives. He also is aware of the social environment. He knows when to move forward and when to back off. He is very alert and knows exactly what he wants.

The girl may be telling him she doesn’t want him, but he can read in between the lines and sees she is testing him. He has put in the time to learn these signs and what they mean.

The guy who isn’t getting the girl is generally less aware of signs. When the girl pushes him away, he feels bad and starts judging himself rather than reading what she actually means.

He may might call her too frequently, not give her breathing room or be overly aggressive. He doesn’t know when and how to act in order to move things forward in a smooth way.

He just knows he wants to feel good, so he keeps pushing.

What should you do?

There are so many things you can do to come from a non-needy mentality. The main thing you want to do is learn to value yourself and love yourself.

Put yourself first and develop yourself. Be proud of who you are and what you have accomplished. Make a list of reasons why you are awesome and what makes you valuable.

You have to bring value to the table if you want anyone to respect you or spend time with you.

A good starting point for awareness is to find a way to rack up a lot of dates.

Get a lot of experience under your belt and learn how to become more sensitive to female communication and underlying meanings. When you do find that really special girl, you won’t miss the opportunities she presents to you.

You will already be a pro at interpreting what she is trying to tell you.

It takes a little bit of time, but it is a fun learning experience.

Remember, good persistence is being confident and aware, while bad persistence being is needy and confused. Persistence, itself, is a good thing as long as you know how to use it.

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