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Perhaps you’re on your first date with someone, or maybe it’s your 10th. Things are going pretty well.
The restaurant or other venue you’ve chosen has excellent flow and energy. The food is good. The band is playing at just the right tempo while you dance. Your mood and hers are firing on all cylinders. There’s just something in the air.
Scenes from “The Notebook” or “Safe Haven” fill your mind. A huge climax for the end of the evening seems to be a lock. You’ve got this.
What are some of the biggest mistakes people make to cause their dates to race for the door, flag down a cab or scream into the night while running back home?
In a relationship situation, what turns people off is as complex and complicated as what turns them on. It could be the clothes you wear, your tone of voice, a certain posture or any number of emotional traits.
Turn-on(s) and turn-off(s) are extremely different for everyone – just like our DNA. You never know when you’ll strike gold or have your face plastered on the wall of shame.
However, there is some good news. There are some basic items you can check off and think about while sitting across the dinner table, therefore increasing your chances of dating success:
There’s nothing worse than having bad communication skills, and let’s start with the biggest: cell phone etiquette.
While on a date, either turn it off or place it on silent. Your focus should be on the one you came to see and get to know.
Having your time interrupted by a ring tone going crazy and then answering the call is a huge turn-off. It makes the person you’re with feel unappreciated and that you’d rather be with someone else.
Communication also is about carrying on a respectful, interesting conversation and opening up. If you’re shy or a little intimidated at first, that’s OK. Just be honest about it.
If you or they are the type that likes dominating the discussion, making conversations one-sided or controlling things, chances are the connection will quickly fade away.
Communication also should flow freely while being apart. If you’re planning on seeing each other or just trying to keep the interaction alive, a good balance of texts, calls and emails is a must.
If someone won’t talk on the phone and will only text, that’s a red flag. If you try contacting someone and they play the game of hide and seek, meaning they take days to respond or don’t at all, it’s time to move on.
If an email is all you’re giving or can manage from them, this isn’t a business scenario and shouldn’t be treated as such.
Either someone is serious about dating you or not, and their intentions will show in how they communicate. If standards aren’t high, just imagine how things would be if you continued.
“Dating is never an exact
science, and we all learn as we go.”
I was out with someone weeks ago. We were having a great evening in a very nice restaurant. Our conversation was flowing well when the subject of a former boyfriend suddenly developed.
As it continued, it became very personal. It made me feel disappointed and want to bolt for the door.
Rather than grabbing my keys from the valet and burning some rubber, I excused myself to the men’s room, took a few deep breaths and returned. By then, I was able to switch the discussion to something else. However, my attraction to her was definitely tarnished.
Exes should, in my opinion, be a subject remaining in the past. Those who continually bring up their former flames need to dissolve their feelings before beginning with someone new.
If you find yourself wanting to open up about the one that got away while on a date, don’t. Be respectful and think how you’d feel if this was talked about around you.
This can mean so many things, but let’s discuss the basics. No matter what anyone says, chivalry is never dead.
Being polite, courteous, respectful, gracious and timely are things that will score you big points in the world of dating.
Follow these and you’ll be worlds apart from the rest of the pact.
Guys, plan your dates. Don’t wait until you’re standing on her doorstep and scratching your head to decide what to do. Women like a man with a plan, and making arrangements goes a long way.
Find out what types of food, movies and other entertainment she likes and seek them out.
A man not thinking ahead is destined to fail. A man always planning for the future is highly desirable in women’s eyes.
Dating is never an exact science, and we all learn as we go. Learning some basic understanding of what’s acceptable in other people’s eyes can make our experiences go much more smoothly.
Have you been completely turned off by a date’s behavior? Leave us a comment below.