How To Be The Modern Don Draper

Men's Dating

How to Be the Modern Don Draper

Todd Creager

Written by: Todd Creager

Todd Creager

Todd Creager is a marriage and sex therapist who has been helping individuals and couples to have successful relationships for 30 years. He is also the author of the highly acclaimed book “The Long Hot Marriage."

Edited by: Lillian Castro

Lillian Castro

Lillian Guevara-Castro brings more than 30 years of journalism experience to ensure DatingAdvice articles have been edited for overall clarity, accuracy, and reader engagement. She has worked at The Atlanta Journal and Constitution, The Gwinnett Daily News, and The Gainesville Sun covering lifestyle topics.

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Who is the modern, masculine dating man? The old images of masculinity were men picking up their women in a nice car, taking them to a nice restaurant and sharing all their triumphs with their date.

In and of itself, none of that is bad. However, things have changed.

Just like it is not enough for the married man to mow the lawn on Sundays, it is not enough for the single man to pull up in a nice vehicle and drive real fast.

Women have come into their own. They are having their own sense of who they are separate of how men define them. They are successful, sexual and assertive.

Single men need to grow and change into what I call the “modern masculine man.”

The definition of masculinity that makes sense to me is anything that brings out the femininity of the female – the part of her that can open up her heart and trust the man will be there for her whether it is emotionally, sexually or physically.

The modern woman needs to trust her man. From 30 years of being a relationship expert, here are the keys to being the masculine man.

All these keys can help unlock the femininity of the woman.

1. Be a good listener.

I list this first on purpose. It is THE most masculine thing a man can do and one where we as men have very little practice and skill in.

Instead of talking about yourself, it is far more attractive to be intently curious and inquisitive about your female date.

2. Be real.

Do not pretend to have your act together. You don’t and neither does anybody else for that matter.

Her female intuition will smell a fake immediately. Expose your flaws (not excessively but don’t work hard to hide them).

“Instead of talking about yourself, it is more

attractive to be curious about your date.”

3. Take care of your life.

This includes your financial life, your health, etc. Show discipline. That will evoke trust more than if you own a Harley and can pop a wheelie.

4. Have friends.

Having friends shows you can tend to your relationships, which can then also lead to evoking trust in her.

5. Resolve your family of origin issues the best you can.

That’s right; the last thing she wants is you scapegoating her for all the anger you have toward your over-controlling mother.

6. Be respectful and kind.

This includes being nice to the busboy and others who you are not looking for anything in return. She will be paying attention to how you treat others besides her.

7. Enjoy her company and let her know it.

She wants to feel she makes a difference in your day (or night).

Some of the old ways of being masculine still count. For example, having financial responsibility and showing confidence is important.

However, add these seven keys and you will soon be the modern masculine man enjoying a modern feminine woman.

Guys, are you a modern masculine man? How do you plan to use these steps to improve your dating life?

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