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Sometimes the hardest step in dating is figuring out if the girl you are flirting with likes you or not. Is she just being friendly, or is she really into you? The answer lies not just in what she says — but in her non-verbal cues as well.
As a woman, I feel I can tap into not only the science, but my experience of being into certain guys and trying to show it to help shine a light on reading a girl’s cues.
According to Psychology Today, we move our feet toward what we want and move them away from what we don’t want.
Basically, the way a person uses their legs and feet reveals where they want to go. So when a woman’s feet and body are facing toward you, most likely she’s into you. (This can be especially helpful to tell if a shy girl likes you because she is probably scared to come out and say it.)
According to ScienceofPeople.com, when a woman touches or exposes the small dip between her neck and her collarbone (called the suprasternal notch), she is drawing on a subconscious need to let you know that she fancies you.
More than likely she wants you if she touches, licks, and/or bites her lips. The lips are a very sensual, if not sexual, body part. “We stroke ourselves for two reasons: to draw attention to a body part and to subconsciously tease the person watching,” says sex and relationship expert Tracey Cox in her book “Superflirt.”
ScienceofPeople.com strikes again. According to that website, “When we are attracted to someone, blood will flow to our face, causing our cheeks to get red. This happens to mimic the orgasm effect where we get flushed. It is an evolutionary way the body tries to attract the opposite sex.”
So when you see her face get flushed, her body can be telling you what she is feeling, even if she doesn’t know it yet.
Mirroring is copying someone else’s body position or movements. If you’re sitting next to someone you respect or look up to and they’re leaning back with a foot resting on their knee, there’s a good chance you’re sitting the same way and may not even notice that you’re doing it.
This has importance in the game of attraction as well. A woman who is attracted to you may mirror your body position. If you’re at dinner and you’ve got your hands sitting on the table a certain way, and you notice your date holding her hands the same way or picking up her glass when you do, that’s a good indicator of interest.
We are not talking hugs or kisses here. We are talking simple touches in places like the arm or leg that may seem innocent, but they actually indicate an interest in being close to you. So if you happen to catch these flirty signals, try inconspicuously touching her arm or shoulder (stick to the safe spaces) to see if she responds well.
Eye contact is one of the most important indicators of attraction. When a woman locks her eyes onto you and keeps them there, she is telling you through her eyes that she’s interested in you.
You can tell she really likes you if she’s laughing at a joke or funny comment that is more Pauly Shore than Chris Rock. My female clients tell me all the time that they love a man with a great sense of humor, but it’s still cute when a guy is trying to be funny and misses sometimes. By showing big smiles and/or laughter, she’s giving you a sign that she wants you to feel good and validated.
A simple tilting of the head and batting of those lashes may seem like nothing, but when a woman does this at you, she is telling you she is playful and may be more interested than you think.
A woman’s hair is considered a sign of her femininity — so when she is playing with it, she is saying she really likes you and that she is opening herself up to you.
I may be a married relationship expert, but back in my single days, I was very much like the women you’re probably dating. Looking back, I know when I liked a guy I did things to show him I was interested. Very few women want to just tell a man she likes him (although, for any women reading this, I highly recommend it). Alas, women can be creatures of subtlety.
So how can you tell if a girl likes you? You need to read between the lines of the conscious or subconscious signals she’s sending your way. Now that you have an idea of non-verbal cues that can play a big part in finding out your date’s interest level, it’s time for you to go put them to the test.
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