Surviving Christmas As A Single Gay Man

Gay Dating

Surviving Christmas as a Single Gay Man

Jonathan Welford

Written by: Jonathan Welford

Jonathan Welford

Jonathan Welford is a dating and relationship coach, author of three relationship coaching books and regular columnist. He heads up a coaching and therapy practice specializing in dating and relationships. He lives in the UK with his husband and their English bulldog named Lola.

Edited by: Lillian Castro

Lillian Castro

Lillian Guevara-Castro brings more than 30 years of journalism experience to ensure DatingAdvice articles have been edited for overall clarity, accuracy, and reader engagement. She has worked at The Atlanta Journal and Constitution, The Gwinnett Daily News, and The Gainesville Sun covering lifestyle topics.

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The countdown is beginning — everywhere you go you hear Christmas songs and see tinsel, baubles and inflatable Santas.

You may have little desire to go back to see parents or relatives for Christmas dinner and experience pitying looks and pointed avoidance of mentioning your “lifestyle choice.”

And let’s not forget the delighted smiles when talking about family friends who’ve recently been blessed with loveable grandchildren.

I am not going to list multiple techniques to avoid going home, nor am I going to supply you a quick-fix instant boyfriend solution.

However, there are many positives about being single during the holiday season

1. Less stress.

You don’t have to stress over buying the perfect present that will surprise, thrill and excite your loved one.

So many people have such high expectations of Christmas gifts that they are usually monumentally disappointed (and this is hard to hide).

2. Food!

You get to eat very tasty and unhealthy food and cover up the extra pounds gained with a large sweater.

And when you’re back at the gym in January, you’ll be surrounded by a lot of overweight people kick-starting their New Year resolutions, so your weight gain won’t be as noticeable.

3. Time for nostalgia.

Christmas gives you the opportunity to dress in your pajamas and watch all your favorite movies and wallow in happily nostalgia.


“The more things you add to your life,

the more interesting you will appear.”

4. Maximize dating potential.

You get time to work out your master plan for maximizing your dating potential.

Treat yourself to a few dating self-help books and dedicate part of your home as the headquarters of Operation Boyfriend.

5. Travel plans.

Scout out a schedule of new places to visit in January. New bars, social groups and so on. Also, look at switching dating websites. Use the time off to check out what’s being offered and which deals work for you.

6. Re-connect with friends and family. 

Re-connect with old friends and people you’ve lost touch with for one reason or another. Friends are a great source of dating opportunities, and no, I don’t mean start sleeping with your mates.

However, they may have a network of other friends and be able to introduce you to a few possibilities.

7. Sleep.

Christmas is a time when everything shuts down for a short while, so use the opportunity to rest. Sometimes we don’t realize how tired we really are. In this fast paced world, we tend to fill every waking moment, so stepping out of that behavior, even for a short time, can do you the world of good.

8. Plan for the following year.

Traveling solo can be fun no matter how intimidating you feel it may be. Act as your own travel agent and pencil in some city breaks.

Go to the places you want to visit, like museums and points of interest, and use the opportunity to connect with guys in the city or area.

I’m not an advocate of long-distance relationships. However, you never know where love may take you, and you may make some good friendships along the way.

Also, the more things you add to your life, the more interesting you will appear to future dates.

Ultimately, it’s your life, your holiday season and your time for you. Enjoy, savor and focus on your needs and well-being. Have a happy holiday.

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