Why Men Fall Silent After The First Date

Women's Dating

Why Men Fall Silent After the First Date

Kimberly Seltzer

Written by: Kimberly Seltzer

Kimberly Seltzer

Kimberly Seltzer, LCSW, is a therapist, matchmaker, personal image expert and dating coach. She practices a unique blend of therapy, in-field coaching and styling to help people with their confidence and dating life. Moreover, Kimberly is also a single mom who specializes in working with divorcees to get back out into the dating world. Sign up for her free Body Type booklet and newsletter at www.eliteimagemakeovers.com.

Edited by: Lillian Castro

Lillian Castro

Lillian Guevara-Castro brings more than 30 years of journalism experience to ensure DatingAdvice articles have been edited for overall clarity, accuracy, and reader engagement. She has worked at The Atlanta Journal and Constitution, The Gwinnett Daily News, and The Gainesville Sun covering lifestyle topics.

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You come home in a state of euphoria after an amazing first date. Everything seemed to go well – great conversation, phenomenal chemistry and shared passions.

One day goes by. Two days go by. Then a week goes by. No word from this man who you couldn’t wait to see again.

You start overanalyzing, making up stories of what could have happened, and you might even reach out to get his attention.

Why didn’t he call?

One of the advantages of being a matchmaker and dating coach to thousands of men and women is I am able to really find out answers to that question.

I have determined there are common reasons why men may crawl into their dark, silent cave after one date.

1. He’s just not that attracted to you

Although you may have really liked him and felt the chemistry, it is possible he didn’t feel the same way and you misread or overlooked signals.

Many guys report they didn’t find a woman attractive due to the way she looked, the way she acted, or things that were said on that first date that turned them off.

Basically it’s important to pay attention to three signals: nonverbal gestures, verbal indicators and follow-up action.

Nonverbal signals like eye contact, touching and smiling can indicate attraction.

Also, notice what he says to you, such as giving compliments, talking about future plans with you and showing genuine interest in what you are saying.

Men will show passion in seeing you again right away with a call, text or email.

“You want a man who shows

passion toward seeing you again.”

2. He’s dating someone else

The guy may have really liked you, but there might be other women or another special someone in the picture.

It’s hard to really know after one date if the man is seeing other people unless he’s upfront about it.

Regardless if he is or not, it’s best to have fun and focus on an amazing date rather than asking a million questions about other women.

This ultimately can cause the man to feel pressured and he will run for the hills.

3. Timing is off

He may really like you, but the time is not right. Perhaps he just ended a long relationship and isn’t ready for what you are looking for.

It also could be he is under a great amount of stress or financial hardship, so he doesn’t feel worthy or ready for a relationship at this time.

Whatever the reason for his silence, the important thing to keep in mind is he’s not right for YOU at this moment.

You want a man who wants and shows passion toward seeing you again, so stay focused on you and date others.

If he really wants to come out of his cave and get you, he will!

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