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In my humble opinion, women are the universe’s greatest creation. Not only do I love women, but I actually helped bring (with one more on the way!) into the world. So, in my estimation, I’ve already made the world a better place.
However, to bring more women into the world, we first have to win at least one of them over. It’s not enough to find the woman of your dreams. You have to win her over and make her crazy about you, crazy enough to want to spend forever with you. While it can seem daunting at times, it is definitely worth the effort. I want to help you all out and make it a little easier for you, so here we go!
I’m sure you’ve heard the advice to just ask her a lot of questions. It’s OK advice, but it doesn’t get at the heart of the matter.
Whether you believe that women talk more or less than men, we all enjoy talking about ourselves. But that doesn’t mean to just throw rapid-fire questions at them. Ask questions you honestly want to know the answers to, not just the ones you think you’re supposed to ask.
Instead of asking what she does for work, ask her to tell you the funniest thing that’s happened to her at work. Instead of asking where she grew up, ask her what some crazy gossip is from her hometown. And make sure you are actually listening. Ask some follow-up questions. It shows that you are sincerely interested in her and want to learn more.
To follow up with the previous tip, remember what she actually said. I know this sounds kind of funny, but there’s no point in asking questions if you don’t remember anything she tells you. When you not only remember what she told you, but bring it back up at another time, it shows that you took in what she said and that it mattered to you.
Pro Tip: All the things she talks about are things she values, so learn a little about those things or use the information to get her some great gifts.
If you remember her telling you that she always wanted a puppy, get her one for her birthday or the holidays. Many times a guy isn’t even sure what color a woman’s eyes are, so if you can easily rattle off multiple things that you remember her talking to you about, you’re golden in her eye.
The Benjamin Franklin effect states that people will like you more if you request a favor of them than if you do a favor for them. I know it sounds counterintuitive, but the science plays out.
Instead of doing something nice for her (which is still always a good thing), ask her for a small favor. Now this isn’t to say that you should ask her to mow your lawn or anything, but maybe ask for her advice on something. A tried-and-true method is asking for her help on getting a gift for someone. You could also ask her to pick something up for you on her vacation or on her way to or from school or work.
Everyone loves compliments. Well, let me rephrase that. Everyone loves sincere and meaningful compliments. A lot of guys will just throw compliments out there without thought. For example, “You look pretty” or “I like that dress.” Compliments like these can come across as insincere and canned.
What I mean is comments like these sound like you just whipped out a compliment card and handed it over without necessarily making sure it was unique to that woman. You want to let her know WHY you are complimenting her. For example, “You look pretty — that’s an awesome new hairstyle you’re trying.” or “I like that dress. That shade of blue makes me remember the ocean in Majorca.”
Make sure the compliment is unique to her and couldn’t be said to the person on either side of her. Also, don’t compliment her on the obvious. If she has red hair, everyone will compliment her on that. If she has a Ph.D., everyone will compliment her on that. Instead, try and find something, again, unique about her. For example, “You volunteer at a farmer’s market? What a wonderful and caring thing to do!”
Remaining calm under fire is a surefire way to impress her. Life is crazy. It throws stuff at you all the time, especially when you least expect it. Those of us who don’t crack under pressure showcase great leadership.
For better or worse, I’ve learned that I’m very good in emergencies (one house fire and one 9/11). Women want a man who doesn’t lose it when shit hits the fan. Not everything is going to go right on a date. That’s OK. Some of my favorite stories are when things went wrong. What is important is how you deal with it.
Imagine you are out on a date, and you realize right after you’ve ordered food that you accidentally forget your wallet. Instead of panicking, calmly let your server know that you’re an idiot and ask him what he suggests. One way to get good at this is to take some improv acting lessons. Life, after all, is improv.
We all deal with what is thrown at us that day. When you can learn to roll with the punches and trust that everything will turn out OK, it greatly reduces your anxiety.
Men are, arguably, the simpler sex. We see something we want, and we go for it. We find a way of doing something we like, and we never veer from that.
While that may be good for work, it can be the death knell for romance. Romance is about emotions, and, if everything is super predictable and logical, it can snuff out a burgeoning relationship.
Take her somewhere you’ve never been before. Order something different. Occasionally surprise her with something. One of my favorite tips is to agree to the first thing she suggests when you’re browsing Netflix, Hulu, or Disney. She won’t be expecting that, and you’ll score an easy win.
Passionate people are interesting people. One of the things I teach is that, to be interesting, we must first be interested. If you’re not interested in anything, you’re going to be a pretty sad cocktail party conversationalist.
While it’s good to love your work, you want to have something else to be passionate about. Maybe you have a side hustle restoring furniture. Are you very involved in bettering your community? Or perhaps you are a world-class archer.
When someone is passionate about something, it signifies dedication, sacrifice, tenacity, and depth of personality. If you don’t have a passion, maybe it’s time to find one.
While nothing guarantees chemistry, you want to at least stack the deck in your favor. I can give you lots of other tips to make a girl go crazy about you such as dressing well, sharing your feelings, and making her laugh. But I wanted to focus on the tips that you may not normally think of.
Just remember that all of these behaviors should be authentic and not some manipulation. You want her to fall in love with the real you, not the person you’re just pretending to be. Get out there, and woo your women!