How Long Should I Mourn a Breakup?

Nick Slade

Written by: Nick Slade

Nick Slade

Nick spent 20 years in the dating scene before marriage. He has always been the guy friends would come to for advice on relationships, and he developed a knack for giving helpful insights. After college, Nick was a disc jockey for a few years, when the love generation was still alive, so Nick has a lot of relevant experience to draw from when it comes to every aspect of dating, falling in love and screwing things up. He holds Bachelor's degree in humanities and a slew of master’s credits in journalism. Nick is a news junkie and tries to keep up on the latest non-fiction when he has time. He has published two books on how to win at dating and relationships.

Edited by: Lillian Castro

Lillian Castro

Lillian Guevara-Castro brings more than 30 years of journalism experience to ensure DatingAdvice articles have been edited for overall clarity, accuracy, and reader engagement. She has worked at The Atlanta Journal and Constitution, The Gwinnett Daily News, and The Gainesville Sun covering lifestyle topics.

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Advertiser Disclosure

As with most affairs of the heart, there are easy, logical answers that don’t always jibe with your human response. Heartbreak can’t be cured through intellectual gymnastics alone. Nevertheless, we have to use our brains to guide the healing process.

You can allow yourself only one day for tortured devastation, self-pity and all-consuming grief. Maybe two days if it was long term and ended with unexpected betrayal.

Of course, you will not be over her by then, but you need to engage your intellect in some fashion at this point, or it will become an unhealthy situation in which you — and not your former girlfriend — become the main cause of your unending and deepening misery.

You need to do an assessment of what you still have in your life — friends, family, a job, health, good looks, charm, and the potential to find an even more suitable partner. Understand that there is no reason to give up.

Get out with your friends and live a normal life. When you have setbacks, remember that you’re looking at a fresh, exciting new start. You haven’t made any mistakes with your next girl yet!

Don’t think about how you should have handled things with your former lover. Think about how you will handle things with your new one.

A broken heart is proof that you know how to give yourself completely to a woman. Transform each thought and regret into a plan that will make you a better man, and you can have this breakup 95 percent behind you in exactly 23 days, 4 hours and 10 minutes.

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