I Asked Her to Hang Out, But She Said She’s Busy. What’s Going On?

Dr. Wendy Walsh

Written by: Dr. Wendy Walsh

Dr. Wendy Walsh

Known as America's Relationship Expert, Dr. Wendy Walsh is an award-winning television journalist, radio host & podcaster, and the author of three books on relationships and thousands of print and digital articles. More than 1.5 million people follow her sage advice on social media. She holds a Ph.D. in Clinical Psychology and teaches in the Psychology Department at California State University Channel Islands and has been the host of "The Dr. Wendy Walsh Show" on iHeart Radio's KFI AM 640 since 2015. Walsh is also a former Emmy-nominated co-host of "The Doctors," as well as former host of the nationally syndicated show "EXTRA." She was named a Time Magazine Person of the Year in 2017 after speaking out about harassment at a major news network.

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Edited by: Lillian Castro

Lillian Castro

Lillian Guevara-Castro brings more than 30 years of journalism experience to ensure DatingAdvice articles have been edited for overall clarity, accuracy, and reader engagement. She has worked at The Atlanta Journal and Constitution, The Gwinnett Daily News, and The Gainesville Sun covering lifestyle topics.

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Reader Question:

I was at a concert with some friends who recognized this girl on another side of the room.

We started dancing, holding hands and pretty much everything that happens before kissing. We exchanged numbers and I told her we should hang out.

I called her the next day and asked her if she wanted to come to a party with me. She said she has a lot of work to do. Three or four hours later, I see her walking with a friend. She then asks ME if I’m still going to that party. I said maybe but never actually ended up going.

I’m SO confused. There’s a formal coming up this weekend, and I want to ask if she wants to go with me.

Can you help me figure out what’s going on with this girl?

-Roger (Pennsylvania)

Dr. Wendy Walsh’s Answer:

Dear Roger,

It’s hard to tell what’s going on with this girl. She may feel uncomfortable that you two were physically touching upon your first meeting and she doesn’t know how to explain she wants to slow things down.

Or she could really like you and actually have had work to do that night and is embarrassed you saw her walking with a friend in a moment of down time.

Finally, she may not be interested in you at all and regrets her impulsive flirts the night you two met.

The only way to know for sure is to be brave and ask her to the formal. Call her and use your voice instead of text, which is a wimpy move.

And be prepared in case she says no. Be polite and tell her you understand. And then move on.

There are plenty of great girls to meet out there. But as hockey great Wayne Gretzky once said, “You miss 100 percent of the shots you never take.”

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