Reader Question:
I have been on five dating sites and I haven’t had any luck. I’m wondering if it’s me. All I want is that serious commitment.
What else should I do?
-Anthony (New York)
Dr. Wendy Walsh’s Answer:
Anthony:
Wow. That’s fast. You want to go from one click to a serious commitment? With so little information to go on — how you profile yourself and behave online — I can’t really give you any feedback, except to suggest you buy a book on online dating to help you.
But something in your email tells me your problem may be related to your neediness. I’m wondering if women might get the impression you are a tad desperate for a relationship.
Of course people should have healthy needs for companionship, but happiness is baggage we must lug into a new relationship with us. We’ll need it when the road gets bumpy.
My suggestion is to make yourself happy doing the things you enjoy. Be an active member of the real world community, doing plenty of good works, and women will take notice. And when you do approach women, online or off, contain yourself a bit.
If a woman passes your girlfriend test, she’ll win the right to get a serious commitment from you. If she’s lucky.
No counseling or psychotherapy advice: The Site does not provide psychotherapy advice. The Site is intended only for use by consumers in search of general information of interest pertaining to problems people may face as individuals and in relationships and related topics. Content is not intended to replace or serve as substitute for professional consultation or service. Contained observations and opinions should not be misconstrued as specific counseling advice.
