I Have Been on Five Dating Sites. What Else Should I Do?

Dr. Wendy Walsh
Dr. Wendy Walsh Updated:
Discuss This! Discuss This!

Reader Question:

I have been on five dating sites and I haven’t had any luck. I’m wondering if it’s me. All I want is that serious commitment.

What else should I do?

-Anthony (New York)

Dr. Wendy Walsh’s Answer:


Wow. That’s fast. You want to go from one click to a serious commitment? With so little information to go on — how you profile yourself and behave online — I can’t really give you any feedback, except to suggest you buy a book on online dating to help you.

But something in your email tells me your problem may be related to your neediness. I’m wondering if women might get the impression you are a tad desperate for a relationship.

Of course people should have healthy needs for companionship, but happiness is baggage we must lug into a new relationship with us. We’ll need it when the road gets bumpy.

My suggestion is to make yourself happy doing the things you enjoy. Be an active member of the real world community, doing plenty of good works, and women will take notice. And when you do approach women, online or off, contain yourself a bit.

If a woman passes your girlfriend test, she’ll win the right to get a serious commitment from you. If she’s lucky.

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