I Have Been on Five Dating Sites. What Else Should I Do?

Dr. Wendy Walsh

Written by: Dr. Wendy Walsh

Dr. Wendy Walsh

Known as America's Relationship Expert, Dr. Wendy Walsh is an award-winning television journalist, radio host & podcaster, and the author of three books on relationships and thousands of print and digital articles. More than 1.5 million people follow her sage advice on social media. She holds a Ph.D. in Clinical Psychology and teaches in the Psychology Department at California State University Channel Islands and has been the host of "The Dr. Wendy Walsh Show" on iHeart Radio's KFI AM 640 since 2015. Walsh is also a former Emmy-nominated co-host of "The Doctors," as well as former host of the nationally syndicated show "EXTRA." She was named a Time Magazine Person of the Year in 2017 after speaking out about harassment at a major news network.

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Edited by: Lillian Castro

Lillian Castro

Lillian Guevara-Castro brings more than 30 years of journalism experience to ensure DatingAdvice articles have been edited for overall clarity, accuracy, and reader engagement. She has worked at The Atlanta Journal and Constitution, The Gwinnett Daily News, and The Gainesville Sun covering lifestyle topics.

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Reader Question:

I have been on five dating sites and I haven’t had any luck. I’m wondering if it’s me. All I want is that serious commitment.

What else should I do?

-Anthony (New York)

Dr. Wendy Walsh’s Answer:


Wow. That’s fast. You want to go from one click to a serious commitment? With so little information to go on — how you profile yourself and behave online — I can’t really give you any feedback, except to suggest you buy a book on online dating to help you.

But something in your email tells me your problem may be related to your neediness. I’m wondering if women might get the impression you are a tad desperate for a relationship.

Of course people should have healthy needs for companionship, but happiness is baggage we must lug into a new relationship with us. We’ll need it when the road gets bumpy.

My suggestion is to make yourself happy doing the things you enjoy. Be an active member of the real world community, doing plenty of good works, and women will take notice. And when you do approach women, online or off, contain yourself a bit.

If a woman passes your girlfriend test, she’ll win the right to get a serious commitment from you. If she’s lucky.

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