I Want to Meet Someone. How Can I Start Without Getting Beat Up Again?

Dr. Wendy Walsh
Dr. Wendy Walsh Updated:
Discuss This! Discuss This!

Reader Question:

I am a 52-year-old gentleman who just finalized a not pleasant divorce after 27 years of what I thought was a great marriage. She evidently had not agreed and proved it with several other long-term partners.

I want to meet someone, but the Internet dating buzz and what I’ve seen scares the life out of me.

How can I start without getting beat up again?

-Tom (Washington D.C.)

Dr. Wendy Walsh’s Answer:

Dear Tom,

Divorce hurts, especially when it comes as a surprise. I’m sure you loved her and thought that was enough.

But sometimes we live with people who hide their needs or act out instead of communicate. Or perhaps she told you about her needs and you were deaf at the time.

But now you are wise. The beauty about being broadsided is it makes you very aware of the next one coming.

You’ve got to trust you have better instincts now.

Having said that, I’ll give you three simple tips:

  1. Don’t be distracted by younger women and ignore the jewels among your peers.
  2. Don’t be satisfied that silence is communication.
  3. And don’t move quickly.

There will be plenty of time for fun romps once you have assessed all the qualities of a woman.

No counseling or psychotherapy advice: The Site does not provide psychotherapy advice. The Site is intended only for use by consumers in search of general information of interest pertaining to problems people may face as individuals and in relationships and related topics. Content is not intended to replace or serve as substitute for professional consultation or service. Contained observations and opinions should not be misconstrued as specific counseling advice.