I Want to Meet Someone. How Can I Start Without Getting Beat Up Again?

Dr. Wendy Walsh

Written by: Dr. Wendy Walsh

Dr. Wendy Walsh

Dr. Wendy Walsh is the author of "The 30-Day Love Detox"" (April 2013).

Edited by: Lillian Castro

Lillian Castro

Lillian Guevara-Castro brings more than 30 years of journalism experience to ensure DatingAdvice articles and reports have been edited for overall clarity, accuracy, and reader engagement.

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Reader Question:

I am a 52-year-old gentleman who just finalized a not pleasant divorce after 27 years of what I thought was a great marriage. She evidently had not agreed and proved it with several other long-term partners.

I want to meet someone, but the Internet dating buzz and what I’ve seen scares the life out of me.

How can I start without getting beat up again?

-Tom (Washington D.C.)

Dr. Wendy Walsh’s Answer:

Dear Tom,

Divorce hurts, especially when it comes as a surprise. I’m sure you loved her and thought that was enough.

But sometimes we live with people who hide their needs or act out instead of communicate. Or perhaps she told you about her needs and you were deaf at the time.

But now you are wise. The beauty about being broadsided is it makes you very aware of the next one coming.

You’ve got to trust you have better instincts now.

Having said that, I’ll give you three simple tips:

  1. Don’t be distracted by younger women and ignore the jewels among your peers.
  2. Don’t be satisfied that silence is communication.
  3. And don’t move quickly.

There will be plenty of time for fun romps once you have assessed all the qualities of a woman.


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