I Want to Meet Someone. How Can I Start Without Getting Beat Up Again?

Dr. Wendy Walsh

Written by: Dr. Wendy Walsh

Dr. Wendy Walsh

Known as America's Relationship Expert, Dr. Wendy Walsh is an award-winning television journalist, radio host & podcaster, and the author of three books on relationships and thousands of print and digital articles. More than 1.5 million people follow her sage advice on social media. She holds a Ph.D. in Clinical Psychology and teaches in the Psychology Department at California State University Channel Islands and has been the host of "The Dr. Wendy Walsh Show" on iHeart Radio's KFI AM 640 since 2015. Walsh is also a former Emmy-nominated co-host of "The Doctors," as well as former host of the nationally syndicated show "EXTRA." She was named a Time Magazine Person of the Year in 2017 after speaking out about harassment at a major news network.

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Edited by: Lillian Castro

Lillian Castro

Lillian Guevara-Castro brings more than 30 years of journalism experience to ensure DatingAdvice articles have been edited for overall clarity, accuracy, and reader engagement. She has worked at The Atlanta Journal and Constitution, The Gwinnett Daily News, and The Gainesville Sun covering lifestyle topics.

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Reader Question:

I am a 52-year-old gentleman who just finalized a not pleasant divorce after 27 years of what I thought was a great marriage. She evidently had not agreed and proved it with several other long-term partners.

I want to meet someone, but the Internet dating buzz and what I’ve seen scares the life out of me.

How can I start without getting beat up again?

-Tom (Washington D.C.)

Dr. Wendy Walsh’s Answer:

Dear Tom,

Divorce hurts, especially when it comes as a surprise. I’m sure you loved her and thought that was enough.

But sometimes we live with people who hide their needs or act out instead of communicate. Or perhaps she told you about her needs and you were deaf at the time.

But now you are wise. The beauty about being broadsided is it makes you very aware of the next one coming.

You’ve got to trust you have better instincts now.

Having said that, I’ll give you three simple tips:

  1. Don’t be distracted by younger women and ignore the jewels among your peers.
  2. Don’t be satisfied that silence is communication.
  3. And don’t move quickly.

There will be plenty of time for fun romps once you have assessed all the qualities of a woman.


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