Our Fourth Date Was Disappointing. Should I Bring It Up?

David Wygant
David Wygant Updated:
Discuss This! Discuss This!
Advertiser Disclosure

Reader Question:

I met this girl. We had three amazing dates where we both sensed our connection. All the dates have been fun, some kissing, lots of great conversations and generally promising.

The problem is the fourth date was disappointing in comparison. I missed lots of opportunities to build on conversation threads, had less eye contact, less laughing, etc. We kissed good night and kept it open about who would call.

When I text to say I looked forward to seeing her again soon, I didn’t get an answer. I’m sensing the next move is important.

Should I bring up the date and acknowledge it wasn’t so great, or should I breezily try and just move on and set up a fun activity date?”

-William (Massachusetts)

David Wygant’s Answer:

Hey William,

Stop sensing it’s a move. This isn’t a game. This isn’t Dungeons and Dragons online. A lot of guys don’t understand dating is not about making a move.

Dating is about feelings. Dating is about shared experiences. Dating is about a feeling.

Call her on the phone and ask her out again. Stop relying on texting so much.

It’s amazing so many people are always thinking about the move. You want to see this woman again, so call her on the phone.

Don’t bring up the date and acknowledge it wasn’t so great. You’re allowed to have an awkward day. Not every moment is going to be perfect.

So you’re next move is to call her up on the phone. Ask her out and have fun. Laugh, kiss, enjoy each other.

She could have just been having an off night, and you could’ve been having an off night.

Don’t make a big deal about it, William. Let me know what happens.


No counseling or psychotherapy advice: The Site does not provide psychotherapy advice. The Site is intended only for use by consumers in search of general information of interest pertaining to problems people may face as individuals and in relationships and related topics. Content is not intended to replace or serve as substitute for professional consultation or service. Contained observations and opinions should not be misconstrued as specific counseling advice.

Advertiser Disclosure

DatingAdvice.com is a free online resource that offers valuable content and comparison services to users. To keep this resource 100% free, we receive compensation from many of the offers listed on the site. Along with key review factors, this compensation may impact how and where products appear across the site (including, for example, the order in which they appear). DatingAdvice.com does not include the entire universe of available offers. Editorial opinions expressed on the site are strictly our own and are not provided, endorsed, or approved by advertisers.

Our Editorial Review Policy

Our site is committed to publishing independent, accurate content guided by strict editorial guidelines. Before articles and reviews are published on our site, they undergo a thorough review process performed by a team of independent editors and subject-matter experts to ensure the content’s accuracy, timeliness, and impartiality. Our editorial team is separate and independent of our site’s advertisers, and the opinions they express on our site are their own. To read more about our team members and their editorial backgrounds, please visit our site’s About page.