Our Fourth Date Was Disappointing. Should I Bring It Up?

David Wygant

Written by: David Wygant

David Wygant

David Wygant is an internationally-renowned dating and relationship coach, author and speaker. To find out more about David and all of his dating and relationship-building products, visit www.davidwygant.com.

Edited by: Lillian Castro

Lillian Castro

Lillian Guevara-Castro brings more than 30 years of journalism experience to ensure DatingAdvice articles have been edited for overall clarity, accuracy, and reader engagement. She has worked at The Atlanta Journal and Constitution, The Gwinnett Daily News, and The Gainesville Sun covering lifestyle topics.

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Reader Question:

I met this girl. We had three amazing dates where we both sensed our connection. All the dates have been fun, some kissing, lots of great conversations and generally promising.

The problem is the fourth date was disappointing in comparison. I missed lots of opportunities to build on conversation threads, had less eye contact, less laughing, etc. We kissed good night and kept it open about who would call.

When I text to say I looked forward to seeing her again soon, I didn’t get an answer. I’m sensing the next move is important.

Should I bring up the date and acknowledge it wasn’t so great, or should I breezily try and just move on and set up a fun activity date?”

-William (Massachusetts)

David Wygant’s Answer:

Hey William,

Stop sensing it’s a move. This isn’t a game. This isn’t Dungeons and Dragons online. A lot of guys don’t understand dating is not about making a move.

Dating is about feelings. Dating is about shared experiences. Dating is about a feeling.

Call her on the phone and ask her out again. Stop relying on texting so much.

It’s amazing so many people are always thinking about the move. You want to see this woman again, so call her on the phone.

Don’t bring up the date and acknowledge it wasn’t so great. You’re allowed to have an awkward day. Not every moment is going to be perfect.

So you’re next move is to call her up on the phone. Ask her out and have fun. Laugh, kiss, enjoy each other.

She could have just been having an off night, and you could’ve been having an off night.

Don’t make a big deal about it, William. Let me know what happens.

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