To Text Or To Call That Is The Question

Men's Dating

To Text or to Call, That is the Question

Bethany Heinesh

Written by: Bethany Heinesh

Bethany Heinesh

Bethany has ghost-written hundreds of dating articles in the last 10 years for relationship experts all over the United States.

Edited by: Lillian Castro

Lillian Castro

Lillian Guevara-Castro brings more than 30 years of journalism experience to ensure DatingAdvice articles have been edited for overall clarity, accuracy, and reader engagement. She has worked at The Atlanta Journal and Constitution, The Gwinnett Daily News, and The Gainesville Sun covering lifestyle topics.

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In the area of romance, communication plays a vital role in the natural progression of a relationship, but it’s no wonder men are confused about how to approach women in today’s fast-paced world of communication technology.

While created to help us do more faster and with smaller equipment, men and women can agree the ever-changing communication products flooding today’s market are frustrating, to say the least. People have barely figured out all the bells and whistles on their most recently purchased cell phone before some genius has come up with a better and more expensive phone.

In recent months, I have had several guy friends ask me for advice about how to best communicate with the women they are interested in. “Should I call her or text her?” was the most commonly asked question.

Fellas, because I know your heart is in the right place when it comes to dating us women, the complicated and confounding bunch we are, I am going to impart some wisdom upon you when it comes to communicating with someone you’re interested in. These tips are not only easy to follow, but they are guaranteed to wow your special gal without coming across as clingy or insecure. By the way, you must solemnly swear these dating secrets will remain between you and me. If my lady friends found out I was giving you the inside scoop, I’d never hear the end of it!


“Guys, when you get down to it, all you need

to know about women is we like to talk.”

Talk without talking.

In the early stages of a relationship, texting as the primary method of communication is perfectly OK and even preferred by many women. Texting is a safe way to talk without talking. “Hey, just thinking of you. How’s ur day?” would be the perfect first text to send to a girl you like. See how she responds.

This might initiate an ongoing conversation via text that lasts all day. If she answers right away, she has most likely been waiting by the phone for you to contact her. I would probably say something in response like, “Hey, handsome, howya been?” to let you know I’m definitely interested.

If she doesn’t text back right away, play it cool. Don’t text her again for a few days. Then try, “Hey, busy? What’s up?” If she texts back and says, “OMG, I have been swamped. How R U?” give her the benefit of the doubt.

Try chatting her up with witty and engaging texts and take it from there. On the flip side, if she doesn’t text you back, lose her number immediately. Usually, if a woman is interested, she will be looking forward to hearing from you and will make herself available to text you back in a timely fashion.

Take communication to the next level.

After a while, texting becomes too safe and limiting. At some point, you will want to do more than text. You’ll want to take the communication to the next level. Before you make a brave leap and dial her digits, ask, “So, can I call you? I’d really like to hear your voice!” Be careful with this one. Suggesting this too soon could really freak a girl out and work against you.

Women can never be too careful in the psycho-prevention department, so most of us are going to be cautious before giving away too much information. If she says yes, text her and tell her you plan to call her at a specific time, and follow through. Don’t play games and make her wait 15 minutes. Do what you say you’re going to do. We respect that.

Make the first moves.

As a woman, I believe men should act as the aggressors, so my rule is I always wait for a guy to make the big “first moves” of the dating procession. Whether it’s the first phone call, kiss or “I love you,” I want to feel confident I never rushed a man into feeling or acting a certain way toward me. Most women feel this way and will likely wait for you to call or text her first.

She is assuming that if you like her, you will make contact with her. Don’t expect women to text or call you just because they’re attracted to you. We have amazing will power when it comes to playing it safe.

Guys, when you get down to it, all you need to know about women is we like to talk. We love to gab, gossip, giggle and have fun with words. When it comes to men we’re interested in, we like to flirt with them, exchange ideas with them and express our feelings to them. That’s just how we were made.

Knowing this, you should naturally want to engage us in conversation because we really do enjoy it. Remember, as much as you are thinking of someone, chances are she’s thinking about you, too. What have you got to lose? Pick up that phone and make it happen!

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