Best Dating Sites
Looking for a dating site you can trust? Search no more.
You may have noticed in your daily life that miscommunications abound. You misinterpret a look, someone’s sense of humor or a turn of phrase.
Unfortunately, everyone operates with an invisible road map in their heads of how they think other people should act, speak and communicate.
Needless to say, these road maps often point to our failed relationships because two people’s road maps just don’t match up and there’s no transparency in communication.
While there are some cultural norms that help curb some of these misunderstandings, there are too many people and personalities under the sun for us to operate like robots.
Guess what?
Online dating is its own subculture of communication and behavioral misunderstandings.
I’ve had the ability to talk to tons of online daters, both male and female, and how each of them thinks and interprets what someone else does online is an interesting case study to human behaviors.
While not everything is specific to every dater, here are some very common behaviors and their interpretations from the opposite sex.
He says:
“She looked at my profile first but didn’t wink or contact me. She must not be interested.”
The reality: She may be interested, but she wants you to notice her and contact her first.
The fix: Ladies, if you’re interested, at least leave a wink so a guy knows you’re welcoming. Guys, contact her anyway. You have nothing to lose.
She says:
“He keeps looking at my profile but not contacting me. Stalker?”
The reality: He forgot he looked at you before. You may have changed your primary photo, which caused him to not trigger that he’s been there before.
The fix: Guys, if you’ve looked at a profile and decided you weren’t interested for whatever reason, block or hide the profile so you don’t keep wasting time perusing someplace you’ve been before.
She says:
“He winked. I winked back. Then nothing!” or vice versa “I winked. He winked back. Now what?”
The reality: Fellas, if she winks, that’s your green light to email. Take it!
The fix: Stop relying on winks! Someone has got to email someone at some point regardless. Guys, generally she wants it to be you. Take your cues and email the ones who are kind enough to wink.
He says:
“I sent an email and she responded. Then I sent another one and nothing.”
The reality: Sometimes women respond just to be polite but aren’t actually interested. If she’s interested, she will keep going.
The fix: Ladies, if you’re not interested, either don’t respond or be clear in your response that you are not interested. You aren’t doing him any favors by replying vaguely.
Ladies, if you ARE interested, keep it going. Conversation is a two-way street.
“If a lady is going to respond to
anything, it’s an email over a wink.”
She says:
“He winked and I sent an email…nothing back.”
The reality: There’s no excuse for this except maybe his finger slipped. You can’t undo a wink, unfortunately.
The fix: Dudes, watch out for fat-fingering things you didn’t mean to. If you are interested and she sent you an email first, heavens to Betsy, reply!
He says:
“She emailed me first. She’s either desperate or something is wrong with her. I certainly don’t need to try hard for this.”
The reality: She doesn’t want to mess around with a bunch of game playing.
The fix: The only thing you should be is stoked. Meet this girl ASAP and see what she’s like in person. You don’t know a real thing about her before that point.
She says:
“He sent a wink. He’s lazy.”
The reality: He sent a wink rather than put the effort into a full message because he thinks you probably won’t return.
The fix: Guys, if a lady is going to respond to anything, it’s an email over a wink. Women get lots of winks but less good emails. If you’re really interested, compose an email.
The same goes for “favoriting” or “liking” or any other non-email techniques.
He says:
“I sent an email and got nothing back.”
The reality: She’s not interested, at least not right now.
The fix: You can circle back with a new email weeks later (maybe the timing just wasn’t right), but be emotionally prepared to move on. Get back up to bat, swing again and work on your messaging skills.
Advertiser Disclosure
DatingAdvice.com is a free online resource that offers valuable content and comparison services to users. To keep this resource 100% free, we receive compensation from many of the offers listed on the site. Along with key review factors, this compensation may impact how and where products appear across the site (including, for example, the order in which they appear). DatingAdvice.com does not include the entire universe of available offers. Editorial opinions expressed on the site are strictly our own and are not provided, endorsed, or approved by advertisers.
Our Editorial Review Policy
Our site is committed to publishing independent, accurate content guided by strict editorial guidelines. Before articles and reviews are published on our site, they undergo a thorough review process performed by a team of independent editors and subject-matter experts to ensure the content’s accuracy, timeliness, and impartiality. Our editorial team is separate and independent of our site’s advertisers, and the opinions they express on our site are their own. To read more about our team members and their editorial backgrounds, please visit our site’s About page.
About the Author
Discuss This!