She Acted Like a Stranger After the First Date. What Should I Do?

Dr. Wendy Walsh

Written by: Dr. Wendy Walsh

Dr. Wendy Walsh

Known as America's Relationship Expert, Dr. Wendy Walsh is an award-winning television journalist, radio host & podcaster, and the author of three books on relationships and thousands of print and digital articles. More than 1.5 million people follow her sage advice on social media. She holds a Ph.D. in Clinical Psychology and teaches in the Psychology Department at California State University Channel Islands and has been the host of "The Dr. Wendy Walsh Show" on iHeart Radio's KFI AM 640 since 2015. Walsh is also a former Emmy-nominated co-host of "The Doctors," as well as former host of the nationally syndicated show "EXTRA." She was named a Time Magazine Person of the Year in 2017 after speaking out about harassment at a major news network.

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Edited by: Lillian Castro

Lillian Castro

Lillian Guevara-Castro brings more than 30 years of journalism experience to ensure DatingAdvice articles have been edited for overall clarity, accuracy, and reader engagement. She has worked at The Atlanta Journal and Constitution, The Gwinnett Daily News, and The Gainesville Sun covering lifestyle topics.

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Reader Question:

I’m in my 50s and have not dated for a while. I recently met someone. We seemed to have a good time.

One problem is I was rather anxious at times. My social skills have declined, but she sensed it and understood. When I dropped her off at her home, she told me she liked being with me. When she left, she hugged me.

About three days later, I asked (by text) about getting some dinner. She text back, “No thank you” and “Maybe another night.” It was kind of cold – almost like we never even had that first date.

What should I do now?

-Steve (New York)

Dr. Wendy Walsh’s Answer:


The biggest social skill that seems to have declined with you is your ability to dial a phone.

You lost so much information by opting for text. You would have known where you stood by her vocal tone and other conversations subjects on the phone. Instead you are left to protect any meaning you like on cold typed words.

You told me you felt anxious on the date and my suspicion is that feeling is what’s detecting a chill in her text.

My advice: Wait a week. Then pick up the phone. You’ll have much more info then.

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