She Acted Like a Stranger After the First Date. What Should I Do?

Dr. Wendy Walsh

Written by: Dr. Wendy Walsh

Dr. Wendy Walsh

Dr. Wendy Walsh is the author of "The 30-Day Love Detox"" (April 2013).

Edited by: Lillian Castro

Lillian Castro

Lillian Guevara-Castro brings more than 30 years of journalism experience to ensure DatingAdvice articles and reports have been edited for overall clarity, accuracy, and reader engagement.

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Reader Question:

I’m in my 50s and have not dated for a while. I recently met someone. We seemed to have a good time.

One problem is I was rather anxious at times. My social skills have declined, but she sensed it and understood. When I dropped her off at her home, she told me she liked being with me. When she left, she hugged me.

About three days later, I asked (by text) about getting some dinner. She text back, “No thank you” and “Maybe another night.” It was kind of cold – almost like we never even had that first date.

What should I do now?

-Steve (New York)

Dr. Wendy Walsh’s Answer:


The biggest social skill that seems to have declined with you is your ability to dial a phone.

You lost so much information by opting for text. You would have known where you stood by her vocal tone and other conversations subjects on the phone. Instead you are left to protect any meaning you like on cold typed words.

You told me you felt anxious on the date and my suspicion is that feeling is what’s detecting a chill in her text.

My advice: Wait a week. Then pick up the phone. You’ll have much more info then.

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