What A Woman Wants

Men's Dating

What Women Want

Nick Slade

Written by: Nick Slade

Nick Slade

Nick spent 20 years in the dating scene before marriage. He has always been the guy friends would come to for advice on relationships, and he developed a knack for giving helpful insights. After college, Nick was a disc jockey for a few years, when the love generation was still alive, so Nick has a lot of relevant experience to draw from when it comes to every aspect of dating, falling in love and screwing things up. He holds Bachelor's degree in humanities and a slew of master’s credits in journalism. Nick is a news junkie and tries to keep up on the latest non-fiction when he has time. He has published two books on how to win at dating and relationships.

Edited by: Lillian Castro

Lillian Castro

Lillian Guevara-Castro brings more than 30 years of journalism experience to ensure DatingAdvice articles have been edited for overall clarity, accuracy, and reader engagement. She has worked at The Atlanta Journal and Constitution, The Gwinnett Daily News, and The Gainesville Sun covering lifestyle topics.

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No one has yet found a perfect answer to the question of what women want. Throughout centuries of examination, romance, poetry and real life, the ultimate answer continues to elude us. Nevertheless, let’s see if we cannot at least glean a little insight into what today’s women want and how to give it to them without compromising your own needs.

Of course, every woman still has a bit of “girl” in her. She wants to have fun as well as a fulfilling career and love life. We need only look to the romance novels she reads with shirtless pirates on the cover, ravishing her and protecting her at the same time, to understand why she has a penchant for the bad boys. She tells you she wants stability, security, a nice guy and a home to take care of, but her fantasy novels are never about an accountant who buys her the washer and dryer of her dreams.

In order to understand what women want, we have to go back to the script nature has written for her. They may be emancipated, but they are still natural creatures with in-born instincts and needs. Women are physically, emotionally and psychologically tied to biology much more so than their male counterparts.


Physically, women are the gentler and weaker sex. Sorry, but facts are facts. This means they have to trust you before they can be with you. Think about it. If you went on a date with a 9-foot-tall, 600-pound hairy Sasquatch girl, you would want to know she was tame and had good intentions — wouldn’t you? You need to let a woman know she is always in charge and in control of intimate moments, especially in the early stages.

If she pushes back to come up for air during a passionate kiss, do not pull her back for one more gulp before letting her make a clean break. It’s just as though the bell rang at the end of a boxing round — stop. No exceptions. Even a bit of muscle on your part can make her feel like force is being applied to the situation, which can add a fatal element of discomfort and distrust to your relationship.

It doesn’t take much to flip her natural “flight or fight” switch that will transform a shared moment of make-out bliss into a scenario that makes her feel as though she is giving and you are taking. The lady always calls the shots in every close encounter. Nature demands it.


“Girls just want to have fun.”

— Cyndi Lauper

“What Women Want: To be loved, to be listened to, to be desired,

to be respected, to be needed, to be trusted, and sometimes, just to be held.”

Dave Barry, American author and columnist

Genetic character.

Nature also demands a woman choose a man of good genetic character. After all, she can produce only one offspring a year, so she wants it to be strong, healthy and fit for survival. A man on the loose can produce a hundred babies, so a few are bound to survive through the power of sheer numbers.

It is biology again that ensures the woman will actually be there when the child is born, and it is the woman who has the instincts — and the mammaries — to nurture and nurse the baby. A good man may no longer drag home a buffalo carcass for her and the young ones, but she will still look for a man who will be there to help support and raise any children who come along.

In modern society, a good job, a good paycheck and a good heart can make up for elements of physical strength and prowess that may have been more necessary in the jungle. Humor, attentiveness and brains can also make a woman feel comfortable and secure in your embrace. These are all parts of the genetic character a woman needs and looks for in a man.


The most basic natural need for women, as for men, is the reason for male-female attraction: sex. Face it, if it weren’t for the wonderland beneath her Calvin Klein jeans, you’d be with the guys drinking beer and watching football. And if it weren’t for your ability to fulfill her physical needs, she’d be shopping with the girls. Mother Nature didn’t expect humans and other creatures to procreate for the intellectual pursuit of making the species survive — so she made it fun!

Physical attraction and fulfillment is the name of the game. Women want sexual pleasure and fulfillment just as much as men do. But they have so many other factors to consider: social values, personal morals, her mother, pregnancy, male pigs, the possibility of abuse, and even Ted Bundy.

In order to get to a mutually satisfactory end game of love and devotion, you just have to follow the breadcrumbs. You’re a gentleman, so you will have no problem earning her trust with your tenderness and restraint. Your intentions go well beyond a moment’s pleasure, so she will be comfortable in the knowledge that you will indeed still love her tomorrow.

Once you have earned the key to her blue jeans, nature will take its course. Lust will beget love, and passion will yield to compassion. You will respect and cherish your woman, who, inexplicably, thinks you’re a darn good man. And once she has carved a place into the essence of your being and you really need her to complete yourself, you will be everything your woman will ever want or need.

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