Are You In Love Or In Like

Men's Dating

Are You In Love or In Like?

Randy Mitchell

Written by: Randy Mitchell

Randy Mitchell

Randy Mitchell is a blogger on lifestyle, writing and relationship topics and is a published author of inspirational romance. His first novel "Sons In The Clouds" is available on Amazon. To find out more about Randy, visit

Edited by: Lillian Castro

Lillian Castro

Lillian Guevara-Castro brings more than 30 years of journalism experience to ensure DatingAdvice articles have been edited for overall clarity, accuracy, and reader engagement. She has worked at The Atlanta Journal and Constitution, The Gwinnett Daily News, and The Gainesville Sun covering lifestyle topics.

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We’ve all heard this line before, “You should marry your best friend, the one who knows you best.”

It always sounds good, appeals to many and makes lots of sense while choosing a mate or life partner.

However, really liking a person versus being in love with them are two very different scenarios.

You should always marry the latter of the two.

Dating and hanging out with someone you feel completely comfortable around, laugh often with and enjoy sharing your most intimate secrets with during those long walks in the park is something special to behold – almost rare in today’s fast-paced environment.

Friends are great, but true friends are very hard to find, especially when it comes to trust, honest and mutual respect. If you’re completely in love with that special lady, the world you’re living in carries a whole other meaning.

I’ve dated women who I really liked, even cared for, but wasn’t in love with.

Some seemed to have all the pieces of the puzzle I searched for: caring, compassion, a sense of humor, ability of being on the same page with basic beliefs and even having a way of finishing my sentences.

But the sizzle just wasn’t there. My eyes didn’t light up or heart skip a beat when they entered the room.

I really liked seeing them and always looked forward to our times spent together, but did I crave their touch or find myself envisioning our future together? Did I carry a deep desire to want more of them in my life?

I’ve known many people who’ve married for the sake of convenience, children, fear of being alone and horror of remaining single forever.

Some make it work on the surface because their significant others match their needs on many levels: financially, politically, religiously, parenting skills and someone to have fun with.

The years pass appearing somewhat satisfied on the surface.

But when college tuition, older age and thoughts of retirement start becoming reality, their dreams of re-marrying for real love is nothing more than a distant fantasy, something which they might’ve accomplished during their youth if they could only turn back the hands of time.

In all fairness, marrying or staying with someone you’re merely compatible with is good enough for some people.

Sure, they may romanticize about finally meeting their love of their life or the one who fills their sleepless nights, but actually doing something about it is better left to the pages of romance novels or daytime dramas.

And many of these couples are ones who simply gave up on meeting “The One” after being cheated on, disappointed emotionally or had unrealistic expectations.

Anyone who’s ever been mutually in love with another, really in love, can tell you it’s worth waiting for and nothing else even compares to the feelings you have when all you want is to be together.

“When you’re in love, you can see

that person again and again.”

Why would you settle for less?

Why walk down an aisle with a pal instead of the one who spikes your adrenaline through your veins?

And how often have we seen those movies where the other guy or girl interrupts a marriage ceremony just in the nick of time for the sake of crazy love?

Perhaps the best scenario for anyone looking for love is to be in love with your best friend. Talk about the best of both worlds.

Just imagine some of these feelings:

  • You think about her from the moment you wake until the second you fall asleep, rather than merely sleeping together because you’re a couple.
  • You’re inspired to always accomplish more because you want to, not because you’re expected to.
  • You never need to mark the calendar for her birthday because you’ve been thinking what to get her for months.
  • You always love what she wears because it looks good on her and not on anybody else.
  • You instantly know her scent because you crave it.
  • When she’s sick, you also feel bad just because.
  • Your life could never be the same if she passed because your life would have little meaning without her.

Living inside mutual love isn’t easy to accomplish.

Some get lucky and find it at an early age. For others, it takes a lifetime to appear, if ever at all.

What makes us truly love another is our emotional attachment to them. Without that connection, things always get boring, lack passion and rarely stand the test of time. And things will get boring if you settle with someone you aren’t in love with.

When you’re in love, you can see that person again and again and it never gets old. When you’re in like, you may love seeing them but you’ll always wish for someone else.

Have you had to decide between a friend and true love?

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