She Demands My Friendship to End. Why Does She Want This?

Dr. Wendy Walsh

Written by: Dr. Wendy Walsh

Dr. Wendy Walsh

Known as America's Relationship Expert, Dr. Wendy Walsh is an award-winning television journalist, radio host & podcaster, and the author of three books on relationships and thousands of print and digital articles. More than 1.5 million people follow her sage advice on social media. She holds a Ph.D. in Clinical Psychology and teaches in the Psychology Department at California State University Channel Islands and has been the host of "The Dr. Wendy Walsh Show" on iHeart Radio's KFI AM 640 since 2015. Walsh is also a former Emmy-nominated co-host of "The Doctors," as well as former host of the nationally syndicated show "EXTRA." She was named a Time Magazine Person of the Year in 2017 after speaking out about harassment at a major news network.

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Edited by: Lillian Castro

Lillian Castro

Lillian Guevara-Castro brings more than 30 years of journalism experience to ensure DatingAdvice articles have been edited for overall clarity, accuracy, and reader engagement. She has worked at The Atlanta Journal and Constitution, The Gwinnett Daily News, and The Gainesville Sun covering lifestyle topics.

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Reader Question:

I’m writing on behalf of my friend Sab, who is in a long-distance relationship. We have been very supportive to each other and our friendship is important to us.

The woman he is dating demands that this friendship is over. I’m very concerned about her intentions. My friend is in his 70s and is vulnerable. I want to spare him from any future problems.

Why does she want so much to have us out of Sab’s life?

-Joanna (New Jersey)

Dr. Wendy Walsh’s Answer:

Dear Joanna,

Clearly his girlfriend feels threatened by your friendship with her man. Long-distance relationships are particularly fragile because essentially they are part-time commitments that may lead to permanency or not.

My advice is to engage her in a friendship with you so she can see you have clear boundaries. The next time she is in town, host the two of them for dinner. Maybe invite another male friend so she can see you have other male friends as well.

The only thing that makes a red flag go up for me is the fact you didn’t tell me about your true feelings for her man.

If you have strong feelings for him and are waiting in the wings, I think it’s your ethical responsibility to excuse yourself from the friendship.

And if he has feelings for you, other than platonic friendship, then he may be sending her unconscious signals about those feelings.

I suggest you sort out all the feelings here so you can make sense of this triangle.

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