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Dr. Wendy Walsh
I was dating this lovely woman. Right from the get-go she told me she has a boyfriend. She let me know she has been in a relationship for seven years.
As I was holding her hands, I noticed the ring. As she was leaving, we could not help but make out for two hours. Our next date was a couple of weeks later and she spent the night (we didn’t do it). The third date I took her on a nice getaway to hot spring resort.
She later asked me, “What if we were to remain friends?” I was appalled but said, “I will always be your friend.” She told me we’re going too fast and I have to be friends with her first. Since then, I have not seen her aside from texting or talking on the phone.
Do you believe I have any chance with her?
If you’ve been reading my column, you know I don’t mince words. I am trying to think of a gentle way to break your heart, but I just can’t find a way.
OK, let me put it this way: Boy, are you in love!
When you fall for a woman, you fall hard. In fact, you fall so hard (uh oh, here comes my bluntness) that you lose complete self-respect.
Why would you waste your money and your time on an engaged woman who is a liar and a cheat? There. I’ve said it.
Now, as to the answer to your question, do I think you have a chance with her? Yes.
You have a chance to get a big, fat broken heart. You have a chance to get an STD. You have a chance to get assaulted by her fiance. (I hope I was joking on that last one.)
I do promise you this: This is a unique opportunity. It is a unique opportunity for you to say no, for you to demand relationship definition, for you to find the love you deserve.
Never love someone who can’t love you back.
No counseling or psychotherapy advice: The Site does not provide psychotherapy advice. The Site is intended only for use by consumers in search of general information of interest pertaining to problems people may face as individuals and in relationships and related topics. Content is not intended to replace or serve as substitute for professional consultation or service. Contained observations and opinions should not be misconstrued as specific counseling advice.