She Said She Isn’t Looking for Anyone. Should I Move On or Be Patient?

Dr. Wendy Walsh

Written by: Dr. Wendy Walsh

Dr. Wendy Walsh

Dr. Wendy Walsh is the author of "The 30-Day Love Detox"" (April 2013).

Edited by: Lillian Castro

Lillian Castro

Lillian Guevara-Castro brings more than 30 years of journalism experience to ensure DatingAdvice articles have been edited for overall clarity, accuracy, and reader engagement. She has worked at The Atlanta Journal and Constitution, The Gwinnett Daily News, and The Gainesville Sun covering lifestyle topics.

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Reader Question:

I’ve known this girl for about two years now (let’s call her Ariel). We became very good friends.

I found out Ariel broke up with her boyfriend, so I saw this as my chance to move in. We were texting each other and I ended up telling her how I felt. She said, “I’m sorry if I mislead you, but I’m not really looking for anyone right now.”

Should I just try to move on, or should I be patient, wait for her to get over her breakup and try to be there for her?

-Derryck (Pennsylvania)

Dr. Wendy Walsh’s Answer:

Dear Derryck,

Your first mistake was texting important feelings. It gave her an easy out. It’s much easier to type words of rejection than to say them.

Next time, have more face and phone time and do some fun activities that may not look like classic dates. Then you’ll know by her eye contact and body language if she really likes you.

As for this gal, sorry to break it to you, but you probably blew it.

The only thing you can do now is act indifferent to her and hang out with other girls. She might notice you haven’t been noticing her, and that could peak her interest.

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