She Said She Isn’t Looking for Anyone. Should I Move On or Be Patient?

She Said She Isnt Looking For Anyone Should I Move On Or Be Patient
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Dr. Wendy Walsh
Lillian Castro

By: Dr. Wendy Walsh

Editor: Lillian Castro

Our dating experts guide readers step-by-step through relationship challenges and romantic decisions in our popular series of advice articles.

Reader Question:

I’ve known this girl for about two years now (let’s call her Ariel). We became very good friends.

I found out Ariel broke up with her boyfriend, so I saw this as my chance to move in. We were texting each other and I ended up telling her how I felt. She said, “I’m sorry if I mislead you, but I’m not really looking for anyone right now.”

Should I just try to move on, or should I be patient, wait for her to get over her breakup and try to be there for her?

-Derryck (Pennsylvania)

Dr. Wendy Walsh’s Answer:

Dear Derryck,

Your first mistake was texting important feelings. It gave her an easy out. It’s much easier to type words of rejection than to say them.

Next time, have more face and phone time and do some fun activities that may not look like classic dates. Then you’ll know by her eye contact and body language if she really likes you.

As for this gal, sorry to break it to you, but you probably blew it.

The only thing you can do now is act indifferent to her and hang out with other girls. She might notice you haven’t been noticing her, and that could peak her interest.


No counseling or psychotherapy advice: The Site does not provide psychotherapy advice. The Site is intended only for use by consumers in search of general information of interest pertaining to problems people may face as individuals and in relationships and related topics. Content is not intended to replace or serve as substitute for professional consultation or service. Contained observations and opinions should not be misconstrued as specific counseling advice.

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About the Author

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Dr. Wendy Walsh

By: Dr. Wendy Walsh

Women's Dating Expert

Known as America's Relationship Expert, Dr. Wendy Walsh is an award-winning television journalist, radio host & podcaster, and the author of three books on relationships and thousands of print and digital articles. More than 1.5 million people follow her sage advice on social media. She holds a Ph.D. in Clinical Psychology and teaches in the Psychology Department at California State University Channel Islands and has been the host of "The Dr. Wendy Walsh Show" on iHeart Radio's KFI AM 640 since 2015. Walsh is also a former Emmy-nominated co-host of "The Doctors," as well as former host of the nationally syndicated show "EXTRA." She was named a Time Magazine Person of the Year in 2017 after speaking out about harassment at a major news network.

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