She Said We’re Moving Too Fast. Should I Give Her Space?

Dr. Wendy Walsh

Written by: Dr. Wendy Walsh

Dr. Wendy Walsh

Known as America's Relationship Expert, Dr. Wendy Walsh is an award-winning television journalist, radio host & podcaster, and the author of three books on relationships and thousands of print and digital articles. More than 1.5 million people follow her sage advice on social media. She holds a Ph.D. in Clinical Psychology and teaches in the Psychology Department at California State University Channel Islands and has been the host of "The Dr. Wendy Walsh Show" on iHeart Radio's KFI AM 640 since 2015. Walsh is also a former Emmy-nominated co-host of "The Doctors," as well as former host of the nationally syndicated show "EXTRA." She was named a Time Magazine Person of the Year in 2017 after speaking out about harassment at a major news network.

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Edited by: Lillian Castro

Lillian Castro

Lillian Guevara-Castro brings more than 30 years of journalism experience to ensure DatingAdvice articles have been edited for overall clarity, accuracy, and reader engagement. She has worked at The Atlanta Journal and Constitution, The Gwinnett Daily News, and The Gainesville Sun covering lifestyle topics.

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Reader Question:

I went on a date with a girl after three weeks of Skyping. The date ended up back at my house and we fooled around. We continued talking sexual after she got home that night and a couple days after. She told me she feels she has the best of both worlds, a physical and intellectual attraction with me.

After a week, our second date came around. That morning and afternoon I didn’t hear from her. I asked if anything was wrong to just tell me, so she told me things we’re moving too fast. I offered to slow things down. She then told me she didn’t feel a spark.

What can turn a woman’s decision like that? Should I move on or give her space?

-Chris (New Jersey)

Dr. Wendy Walsh’s Answer:

Dear Chris,

You don’t really have a choice. You don’t have to give her space because it sounds like she’s taken her space anyway.

In answer to your question, I have a couple answers:

First, it is very common for women to behave in a sexual way early on in a relationship because they think sex leads to love for men in the same way it can for women. So, they give a man what they think he needs to like them.

She may have reconsidered the speed at which you guys went from hello to sexy talk, and she does not know how to scale back and renegotiate the relationship.

The other possibility is she met someone she is more attracted to. It’s sad, but these things happen.

I’d wait a month or so and then do one PHONE CALL to check in and see where she’s at. If you get a cold response or no return phone call, then move on.

And, darling, stay off email and text. Call her up!

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