The Women I Date Are Professionals. How Do I Make Myself Appealing?

Dr. Wendy Walsh

Written by: Dr. Wendy Walsh

Dr. Wendy Walsh

Dr. Wendy Walsh is the author of "The 30-Day Love Detox"" (April 2013).

Edited by: Lillian Castro

Lillian Castro

Lillian Guevara-Castro brings more than 30 years of journalism experience to ensure DatingAdvice articles and reports have been edited for overall clarity, accuracy, and reader engagement.

Discuss This! Discuss This!
Advertiser Disclosure

Reader Question:

An overwhelming majority of the women I date are professional women who earn a lot more money than I do. I have no problem with this. I have a good job, but it doesn’t pay as much as the careers these women have.

I sometimes wonder if my earnings exclude me with these ladies because I’m not at “their level.” As you have pointed out, women today are the hunters/gatherers and I could end up as a house husband changing all of the diapers.

How do I make myself appealing to them? How do I not come off as weak?

-Jeff (New York)

Dr. Wendy Walsh’s Answer:


Excellent questions. So many successful women are suffering from what sociologists call a “George Clooney effect,” meaning the more successful they become, the more successful of a man they desire.

But the smart career women are starting to see a good man is a good partner who is able to help with the household and child rearing.

What I’m not clear about is this: Are you not interested in being a fair domestic partner with a high-earning woman?

If not, then you should date less successful women so you can feel like a traditional male.

On the other hand, if you can see yourself being very involved on the home front, you can come off looking strong by assuming a huge protector role.

Can you physically protect her? Can you legally protect her? Can you financially protect her by managing the money? Can you show her you have her back?

This is a strong man to any woman.

No counseling or psychotherapy advice: The Site does not provide psychotherapy advice. The Site is intended only for use by consumers in search of general information of interest pertaining to problems people may face as individuals and in relationships and related topics. Content is not intended to replace or serve as substitute for professional consultation or service. Contained observations and opinions should not be misconstrued as specific counseling advice.

Advertiser Disclosure is a free online resource that offers valuable content and comparison services to users. To keep this resource 100% free, we receive compensation from many of the offers listed on the site. Along with key review factors, this compensation may impact how and where products appear across the site (including, for example, the order in which they appear). does not include the entire universe of available offers. Editorial opinions expressed on the site are strictly our own and are not provided, endorsed, or approved by advertisers.

Our Editorial Review Policy

Our site is committed to publishing independent, accurate content guided by strict editorial guidelines. Before articles and reviews are published on our site, they undergo a thorough review process performed by a team of independent editors and subject-matter experts to ensure the content’s accuracy, timeliness, and impartiality. Our editorial team is separate and independent of our site’s advertisers, and the opinions they express on our site are their own. To read more about our team members and their editorial backgrounds, please visit our site’s About page.