Why Searching For Miss Right Keeps You From Finding Love

Men's Dating

Why Searching for Miss Right Keeps You from Finding Love

Nick Slade

Written by: Nick Slade

Nick Slade

Nick spent 20 years in the dating scene before marriage. He has always been the guy friends would come to for advice on relationships, and he developed a knack for giving helpful insights. After college, Nick was a disc jockey for a few years, when the love generation was still alive, so Nick has a lot of relevant experience to draw from when it comes to every aspect of dating, falling in love and screwing things up. He holds Bachelor's degree in humanities and a slew of master’s credits in journalism. Nick is a news junkie and tries to keep up on the latest non-fiction when he has time. He has published two books on how to win at dating and relationships.

Edited by: Lillian Castro

Lillian Castro

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Guys all have checklists for their ideal woman, but, more often than not, it can actually keep us from finding true love. After all, a girl with Olivia Wilde’s face, Salma Hayek’s breasts, and Gisele Bundchen’s legs doesn’t come along very often. Throw in Anne Hathaway’s girl-next-door, down-to-earth charm, Kate Hudson’s bubbly personality, Megan Fox’s sultry sexuality, and Oprah’s wisdom and common sense, and you’re likely to be alone forever.

Keep these things in mind when you are looking for a partner:

Keep it real.

Ever since you began the first grade, it was always the most beautiful girls who caught your attention. You barely looked at the other girls, and you never considered them as potential girlfriends.

OK, so here you are a couple of decades later, and you have never dated the head cheerleader, you’ve rarely approached the fabulous babes who make your tummy queasy, and you haven’t even had that many dates or any lengthy relationships. You’re still hung up on the local version of those Victoria’s Secret supermodels, and it’s getting you nowhere.

Get your head out of the clouds. The best girlfriends are rarely the beauty queens. The vain, vapid “mean girls” often judge the world, your actions and you by a ridiculously shallow standard — and that’s just exactly what you are doing by ignoring the great girls all around you.

Just open your eyes and look for someone you can be relaxed with, have fun with and who will actually date you. If all you see is the prime rib on the buffet table, you will miss out on all of the delicious and delightful dishes that really add most of the flavor, character and excitement to the dining experience.


“Every person is an entire world within

themselves, and each time you date a new girl, you

are unlocking the door to the possibilities of a whole

new life you could never have imagined.”

Throw away your checklist.

Just do it. Sure you’re totally infatuated by mysterious brunettes. A lot of guys are. But the blonde friend of the dream girl you have your eye on might be the one who can really rock your world and bring new meaning to your life.

The more limits you place on the girls you are willing to date, the smaller your dating pool will be. The truth is, you will never know if a girl is right for you by how closely she fits some artificial list of traits and qualities. You have to test the water.

Often, we create an ideal image around some girl or woman we have seen or known in life. Maybe it was your babysitter when you were young, that girl who moved out of town in the fifth grade, or somebody from a movie. But was it really her hair, eyes, attire or college major that attracted you to her? Let me venture an answer: No!!!

Date the girls who like you.

A wise person once said, “Don’t marry the one you love; marry the one who loves you.” If you finally get a date with your obsession, she will know that she will always have the upper hand in your relationship. Good relationships are shared by equals.

One of the great things about the world is that we all have admirers. If you shake the crap out of your head and look around, you will see the girls who have smiles and eyes for you. Maybe they are easy to overlook because they are shy, quiet and not so flamboyant. But don’t judge a book by its cover.

There are a lot of opportunities for dates for every guy on the planet. There are a thousand lonely girls within a few miles of you right now who would love to be near you. Some of them already like you.

The key is to date, date, date. Make some friends, and get to know some girls a little more deeply. You never know when you will find a connection that you never expected.

So, guys, stop chasing that elusive butterfly of love and get to know some real girls. You might be sure that they’re not “The One,” but that’s not the point. They might introduce you to the love of your life, you might gain some confidence and experience in dating that will help you later on, and they could turn out to be the girl you’ve been waiting for all your life. Every person is an entire world within themselves, and each time you date a new girl, you are unlocking the door to the possibilities of a whole new life you could never have imagined.

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