Reader Question:
I’m 46 years old. I’m on online dating sites. I have a few men asking me out at the same time. I’m not sure if I should tell the others.
These men express they are looking for a girlfriend and want a relationship, which is also my goal.
Should I go on dates with different men to see which one pans out?
-Kris (Ohio)
Dr. Wendy Walsh’s Answer:
Excellent question, Kris! Remember, dating is supposed to be partner assessment time.
You have no obligation to be exclusive to one person after a date or two, since that isn’t enough time to assess them for their full boyfriend potential.
But you have some moral and health reasons to be exclusive after the onset of sexual activity.
So if you’re not sleeping with any of the men you meet, then you are a free agent.
As for how much to disclose about your dating life, I’m a believer honesty is the best policy. Explain you are dating one or two other people and will be making your selection soon.
As long as you don’t enter a sexual relationship or disclose too much personal information about the other men (which could be construed as a boundary violation), then you are free to happily date whomever you like.
If your dates don’t like this and are pressuring you for too much too soon, then you have some information about their ability to delay gratification.
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