Do I Have Feelings for This Guy?

Kara Pound

Written by: Kara Pound

Kara Pound

Kara Pound is an award-winning journalist based in St. Augustine, Florida. She holds a bachelor's degree in journalism from Flagler College. Her work has been published in INKED, Natural Awakenings, Design Aglow, Memphis Flyer, Jacksonville Magazine, E/Environmental Magazine, and dozens more. Check out some of Kara's work at

Edited by: Lillian Castro

Lillian Castro

Lillian Guevara-Castro brings more than 30 years of journalism experience to ensure DatingAdvice articles have been edited for overall clarity, accuracy, and reader engagement. She has worked at The Atlanta Journal and Constitution, The Gwinnett Daily News, and The Gainesville Sun covering lifestyle topics.

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Reader Question:

I’ve been seeing this guy for a while now. Well, I say “seeing” but we just meet whenever we’re out and one of us feels like it. We never make an effort to see each other or anything. We have been friends for about two years now, and on New Year’s this year, he was being so sweet and asked if he could kiss me. It was adorable.

We’re just very casual. He is such a player so he meets other people and so do I, which suits me fine. He’s moving to a different country in September, so there’s no point in things going any further. However, recently when I see him out, he only really makes an effort with me when I’m ignoring him and vice versa, and when I try to get his attention, he usually finds some other girl. This really pisses me off and I don’t know why because I know we’re not a thing. Do I have feelings for this guy? I really don’t know what’s going on in my head anymore!

-Niamh M. (California)

Expert’s Answer:

Hi Niamh,

I’m sorry to break it to you, but you absolutely have a thing for this guy. Why else would you be writing me and talking about a kiss that happened months and months ago on New Year’s Eve? In your letter, you call this guy a “player” and he sounds like just that. In the beginning, you may have been OK with the two of you hanging out and keeping it casual. But like most women, you’ve developed feelings for him along the way.

Since this guy is moving to a different country in September, I’d advise for you to move on. It seems like all this guy wants to do is play games. If you could play along without getting your emotions involved, then I’d say have fun. But let’s face it, you’ve already proven that you’re emotionally involved. I say save face and save the emotional turmoil of constantly second-guessing yourself. It’s time to move on.

Best of luck,


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