His Reason for Breaking Up is Confusing. What Did He Mean?

Dr. Wendy Walsh

Written by: Dr. Wendy Walsh

Dr. Wendy Walsh

Known as America's Relationship Expert, Dr. Wendy Walsh is an award-winning television journalist, radio host & podcaster, and the author of three books on relationships and thousands of print and digital articles. More than 1.5 million people follow her sage advice on social media. She holds a Ph.D. in Clinical Psychology and teaches in the Psychology Department at California State University Channel Islands and has been the host of "The Dr. Wendy Walsh Show" on iHeart Radio's KFI AM 640 since 2015. Walsh is also a former Emmy-nominated co-host of "The Doctors," as well as former host of the nationally syndicated show "EXTRA." She was named a Time Magazine Person of the Year in 2017 after speaking out about harassment at a major news network.

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Edited by: Lillian Castro

Lillian Castro

Lillian Guevara-Castro brings more than 30 years of journalism experience to ensure DatingAdvice articles have been edited for overall clarity, accuracy, and reader engagement. She has worked at The Atlanta Journal and Constitution, The Gwinnett Daily News, and The Gainesville Sun covering lifestyle topics.

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Reader Question:

Recently my boyfriend broke up with me. His reasoning kind of confuses me because we only dated for a month and a half. He said it has been bothering him that he didn’t feel like his love for me was growing.

I didn’t say it but my first thought was: “I don’t love you, but that is why I am dating you – because I can see myself loving you in the future.”

Do you have any idea what he meant by that?

-Elsa (Utah)

Dr. Wendy Walsh’s Answer:

Dear Elsa,

I know this feels like a slap in the face so early in a relationship. I mean, how could he know if he loved you or not? He barely took the time to get to know you.

My suspicion is he may have met someone else whom he is more initially sexually attracted to.

Also, the two of you have different definitions of love. He thinks it’s a feeling. You, rightfully so, think it’s about giving and growing a caring companionship.

In either case, six weeks does not make him a boyfriend . The fact you are calling him a boyfriend in only six weeks tells me things have moved too fast, and maybe this bothered him.

Lesson for next time: Practice slow love.

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