How Can I Tell He’s a Player?

Nick Slade

Written by: Nick Slade

Nick Slade

Nick spent 20 years in the dating scene before marriage. He has always been the guy friends would come to for advice on relationships, and he developed a knack for giving helpful insights. After college, Nick was a disc jockey for a few years, when the love generation was still alive, so Nick has a lot of relevant experience to draw from when it comes to every aspect of dating, falling in love and screwing things up. He holds Bachelor's degree in humanities and a slew of master’s credits in journalism. Nick is a news junkie and tries to keep up on the latest non-fiction when he has time. He has published two books on how to win at dating and relationships.

Edited by: Lillian Castro

Lillian Castro

Lillian Guevara-Castro brings more than 30 years of journalism experience to ensure DatingAdvice articles have been edited for overall clarity, accuracy, and reader engagement. She has worked at The Atlanta Journal and Constitution, The Gwinnett Daily News, and The Gainesville Sun covering lifestyle topics.

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If he looks at you the way Scooby Doo looks at a submarine sandwich, then he might be a player. A player sees you for your physical assets and sexual potential, not as an individual girl or the object of his love and affection.

It can be very difficult to pick out a player because he doesn’t have any real faults. Players have become very smooth and can respond in stride to anything you throw at them. If anything, they may seem too good to be true.

His compliments may be a bit too polished and rehearsed. He may be a little more immune to the power of your touch and your kisses because there is really only one activity he has his sights on. He won’t become flustered or out of breath.

He will seem to know what you are thinking before you do, which is to say he will make each step in the seduction feel so natural you will think it was your idea, so there will be no reason to slow things down.

He will appear to be moving calmly and slowly with his touches and words, but your pants will be off before you realize what happened. To make things worse, he may be an amazing lover, too.

In the player’s world, where all of his women are part of one big “vagina pool,” he may trip himself up by confusing something he did with another woman as something he did with you. He may call you by the wrong name, but he’ll probably call you “babe” or “hon” just so he doesn’t make a mistake.

He thinks you’re hot and sexy, but he never tells you you’re sweet and beautiful. He’s obsessed with your perfect breasts or other physical attributes. He does not find it difficult to leave you after the sex is done.

He will spend time in front of the mirror even if he says he is going home. The attention he pays to you after his conquest is very perfunctory and lacking in intimacy and sincerity. No hug, a short peck on the cheek, a few insincere words of affection and no longing glance back at you when he heads for the door.

Just sit back when you are alone and rational and ask yourself if you feel emotionally loved and fulfilled, or if you have just been physically satisfied and given a lot of empty promises.

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