Women's Dating

How to Rekindle the Dwindling Spark in Your Relationship Part 1

Marni Battista

Written by: Marni Battista

Marni Battista

Marni Battista, founder of Dating with Dignity, has professional training in dating and relationship coaching as well as training in the Core EnergyCoaching Process from the Institute of ProfessionalExcellence in Coaching (IPEC).

Edited by: Lillian Castro

Lillian Castro

Lillian Guevara-Castro brings more than 30 years of journalism experience to ensure DatingAdvice articles have been edited for overall clarity, accuracy, and reader engagement. She has worked at The Atlanta Journal and Constitution, The Gwinnett Daily News, and The Gainesville Sun covering lifestyle topics.

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If you’re married or in a long-term relationship, there will come a time when you wake up to realize you may have gone from passion to partners.

If you’re in a space where most of what you talk about are the logistics of life, sex seems like something you just “do” and you wish you could feel butterflies again.

Well, it’s time to try a bit harder to keep the romantic flame burning.

Just like a business cycle ebbs, flows, peaks (and, frankly, sometimes tanks), sometimes your relationship will follow the same pattern.

So how can you rekindle the dwindling spark in your relationship?

Dating with Dignity has compiled a few fresh ideas for how to keep your relationship fresh!

1. Plan a vacation.

So you’ve hit a bump. (And we all do.) Don’t panic!

As a first step, you may want to plan a weekend getaway or even a one-day “staycation” at a local hotel/motel.

Getting out of your normal environment and putting yourself in one of relaxation where you can focus on each other (instead of unloading stress from work or other life pressures) can be a good launch pad for putting some sparks back into your relationship.

Make it special. Get that bikini wax (or simply remember to shave your legs!) and set an expectation to return to “courting” behaviors. Then watch what unfolds.

For an extra bonus, try to leave all digital equipment at home and see what it feels like to simply be present where you are with the person you fell in love with.


“Write down the top five things your

partner does that makes you feel loved.”

2. Open up the lines of communication!

If you sense something is off, a good way to maintain the love between the two of you is by opening up communication.

Make sure to have the conversation when you’re in a good space and neither of you are trying to “get something done.”

Put the phone and computer away and simply have some “couch time” to express how you’re meeting each other’s needs.

Communicate what it is that makes you feel loved. Make sure you’re both in a place of receptivity, and check your blame and defensiveness at the door.

Telling your partner about something you’re going to work on as an individual is a great way to let your guy or girl know you care and you want to keep this relationship healthy and happy.

For an extra bonus, get out two pieces of paper and write down the top five things your partner does that makes you feel loved.

It could be 30 minutes of watching a crime drama (versus your reality fare) while sitting by his side without your phone in sight.

And you may tell him you feel loved when he simply checks in during the day via text with a message that expresses how much he cares.

How do you keep the spark alive in your relationship?

By Marni Battista, founder and CEO of Dating with Dignity. Connect with her on Google+.

Photo source: bp.blogspot.com.

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