I Broke Up with My Ex, But I Miss Him. What Do I Do?

Dr. Wendy Walsh

Written by: Dr. Wendy Walsh

Dr. Wendy Walsh

Known as America's Relationship Expert, Dr. Wendy Walsh is an award-winning television journalist, radio host & podcaster, and the author of three books on relationships and thousands of print and digital articles. More than 1.5 million people follow her sage advice on social media. She holds a Ph.D. in Clinical Psychology and teaches in the Psychology Department at California State University Channel Islands and has been the host of "The Dr. Wendy Walsh Show" on iHeart Radio's KFI AM 640 since 2015. Walsh is also a former Emmy-nominated co-host of "The Doctors," as well as former host of the nationally syndicated show "EXTRA." She was named a Time Magazine Person of the Year in 2017 after speaking out about harassment at a major news network.

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Edited by: Lillian Castro

Lillian Castro

Lillian Guevara-Castro brings more than 30 years of journalism experience to ensure DatingAdvice articles have been edited for overall clarity, accuracy, and reader engagement. She has worked at The Atlanta Journal and Constitution, The Gwinnett Daily News, and The Gainesville Sun covering lifestyle topics.

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Reader Question:

I recently broke up with my boyfriend of two years. I got so used to him that when this new guy started flirting with me, I broke it off and started a new relationship.

This guy is great, but I miss my ex and I regret everything. My ex tells me he still loves me, but he has a girlfriend as well. I don’t want to hurt anyone.

What do I do?

-Andrea (Utah)

Dr. Wendy Walsh’s Answer:

Andrea,

Did you break it off with your boyfriend in an attempt to bring him closer? That’s a common move by women who want more attention from their man.

If you broke up with him for another reason, I guarantee if you reconcile with him, you will be giving him permission to behave the way he did in the past.

The best predictor of someone’s future behavior is their past behavior.

Remember, we always have feelings of loss when we break up, even if we were the one who made the choice.

I agree you don’t want to hurt anyone, but are you hurting yourself by staying in mourning and not being completely present in your new relationship?


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