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Reader Question:
I recently broke up with my boyfriend of two years. I got so used to him that when this new guy started flirting with me, I broke it off and started a new relationship.
This guy is great, but I miss my ex and I regret everything. My ex tells me he still loves me, but he has a girlfriend as well. I don’t want to hurt anyone.
What do I do?
-Andrea (Utah)
Dr. Wendy Walsh’s Answer:
Andrea,
Did you break it off with your boyfriend in an attempt to bring him closer? That’s a common move by women who want more attention from their man.
If you broke up with him for another reason, I guarantee if you reconcile with him, you will be giving him permission to behave the way he did in the past.
The best predictor of someone’s future behavior is their past behavior.
Remember, we always have feelings of loss when we break up, even if we were the one who made the choice.
I agree you don’t want to hurt anyone, but are you hurting yourself by staying in mourning and not being completely present in your new relationship?
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