I Don’t Want to Annoy Him by Pursuing Him. What Do I Do?

Dr. Wendy Walsh

Written by: Dr. Wendy Walsh

Dr. Wendy Walsh

Known as America's Relationship Expert, Dr. Wendy Walsh is an award-winning television journalist, radio host & podcaster, and the author of three books on relationships and thousands of print and digital articles. More than 1.5 million people follow her sage advice on social media. She holds a Ph.D. in Clinical Psychology and teaches in the Psychology Department at California State University Channel Islands and has been the host of "The Dr. Wendy Walsh Show" on iHeart Radio's KFI AM 640 since 2015. Walsh is also a former Emmy-nominated co-host of "The Doctors," as well as former host of the nationally syndicated show "EXTRA." She was named a Time Magazine Person of the Year in 2017 after speaking out about harassment at a major news network.

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Edited by: Lillian Castro

Lillian Castro

Lillian Guevara-Castro brings more than 30 years of journalism experience to ensure DatingAdvice articles have been edited for overall clarity, accuracy, and reader engagement. She has worked at The Atlanta Journal and Constitution, The Gwinnett Daily News, and The Gainesville Sun covering lifestyle topics.

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Reader Question:

There’s this guy I go to college with and we used to be really close friends. Eventually I ended up liking him but he ended up liking this other girl. Apparently he’s single now. He’s just really nice to everyone so it’s hard to tell what he’s thinking, which is why I messed up before and thought that he liked me.

So what am I supposed to do? I don’t want to be pathetic or annoying or anything by trying to pursue him, but I don’t want to just be his friend.

-Kelsey W. (Massachusetts)

Dr. Wendy Walsh’s Answer:

I love it when my sweet writers answer their own question. You just told me clearly what you don’t want to be: A woman who pursues unrequited love, nor a woman who swallows her feelings just to be near a guy.

So, take a deep breath girlfriend and try to become the woman you want to be: A woman who is honest but not a doormat. It’s time to suck it up and put on one big flirt to let him know you are interested.

If he doesn’t take the bait, move away. Your disappearance will give him an opportunity to pursue you if he’s interested. If he’s not, don’t hang around and injure yourself.

You know what you want and what you don’t. And that’s a huge step to finding real love.

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