I Don’t Want to Break Up with Him. What Should I Do?

Dr. Wendy Walsh

Written by: Dr. Wendy Walsh

Dr. Wendy Walsh

Known as America's Relationship Expert, Dr. Wendy Walsh is an award-winning television journalist, radio host & podcaster, and the author of three books on relationships and thousands of print and digital articles. More than 1.5 million people follow her sage advice on social media. She holds a Ph.D. in Clinical Psychology and teaches in the Psychology Department at California State University Channel Islands and has been the host of "The Dr. Wendy Walsh Show" on iHeart Radio's KFI AM 640 since 2015. Walsh is also a former Emmy-nominated co-host of "The Doctors," as well as former host of the nationally syndicated show "EXTRA." She was named a Time Magazine Person of the Year in 2017 after speaking out about harassment at a major news network.

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Edited by: Lillian Castro

Lillian Castro

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Reader Question:

I’m 19 years old and I’ve been dating this guy for a year and a half. At first, we were totally in love with each other. With time, he started criticizing everything I do, he didn’t want me to talk to my guy friends, and he pushed my away from my girlfriends, too.

We don’t meet as often, we don’t have sex, and we kind of don’t care about each other as we did before. I didn’t want to break up with him because I’ve never had a boyfriend before, and I don’t think I have the courage to do it because I’ve tried a lot.

I’m not afraid of not being with him, but I’m afraid of being alone. I don’t feel happy as I did before. What should I do?

-Tina F. (Alabama)

Dr. Wendy Walsh’s Answer:

Whether you realize it or not, you have already broken up. You’ve been weaning each other by seeing each other less. The sexual relationship has ended and, you said it, you don’t care so much about each other anymore. It sounds like this guy’s controlling behavior wasn’t so healthy anyway.

But the real question to ask yourself is why you would hold on to the threads of a bad relationship when a healthy, happy love is in your future?

And there is one part of your email that concerns me. You tell me that you don’t think you have the courage to break up with him and that you’ve tried to before. If his controlling behavior makes you afraid, you must go to your family and friends and ask for their support.

Be safe. Be strong. And know that you are completely lovable.

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