I Like a Boy Who is 21. What Do I Do?

I Like A Boy Who Is 21 What Do I Do
Updated:
Dr. Wendy Walsh
Lillian Castro

By: Dr. Wendy Walsh

Editor: Lillian Castro

Our dating experts guide readers step-by-step through relationship challenges and romantic decisions in our popular series of advice articles.

Reader Question:

I like this boy who is 21. I’m 17 and will be 18 soon. My mom says it’s all right to talk to this boy, but my dad said I can only talk and be friends with him. I have anxiety and he thinks I’m not ready to date.

What do I do, and who do I listen to?

-Britt

Dr. Wendy Walsh’s Answer:

Listen to your gut and pay attention to the law. The state you are in may not even allow you to date a legal adult until you are one yourself.

As for listening to your gut, move slowly and pay attention to your feelings. If you feel pressured to advance to a physical relationship, even kissing, before you are ready, respect that feeling.

It’s OK to slow down. There are plenty of other men out there, and you have lots of time to practice relationships without getting your heart broken.

Your father just wants to protect you from that pain. (And by the way, a 21-year-old is a man, not a boy, so don’t expect him to be engaging in a juvenile relationship with you.)


No counseling or psychotherapy advice: The Site does not provide psychotherapy advice. The Site is intended only for use by consumers in search of general information of interest pertaining to problems people may face as individuals and in relationships and related topics. Content is not intended to replace or serve as substitute for professional consultation or service. Contained observations and opinions should not be misconstrued as specific counseling advice.

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About the Author

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Dr. Wendy Walsh

By: Dr. Wendy Walsh

Women's Dating Expert

Known as America's Relationship Expert, Dr. Wendy Walsh is an award-winning television journalist, radio host & podcaster, and the author of three books on relationships and thousands of print and digital articles. More than 1.5 million people follow her sage advice on social media. She holds a Ph.D. in Clinical Psychology and teaches in the Psychology Department at California State University Channel Islands and has been the host of "The Dr. Wendy Walsh Show" on iHeart Radio's KFI AM 640 since 2015. Walsh is also a former Emmy-nominated co-host of "The Doctors," as well as former host of the nationally syndicated show "EXTRA." She was named a Time Magazine Person of the Year in 2017 after speaking out about harassment at a major news network.

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