I’m Afraid to Date Again. What Should I Do?

Dr. Wendy Walsh

Written by: Dr. Wendy Walsh

Dr. Wendy Walsh

Dr. Wendy Walsh is the author of "The 30-Day Love Detox"" (April 2013).

Edited by: Lillian Castro

Lillian Castro

Lillian Guevara-Castro brings more than 30 years of journalism experience to ensure DatingAdvice articles and reports have been edited for overall clarity, accuracy, and reader engagement.

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Reader Question:

I married my high school sweetheart at 21. We had two kids and my husband passed away three years ago unexpectedly. We had been married for 30 years. I want to date, but I am so afraid.

What should I do?

-Ruthie (Virginia)

Dr. Wendy Walsh’s Answer:


While you are wise to have caution, you should know you are young enough to have a whole second life with a wonderful man. And it sounds like after all the child raising, you deserve it.

Let me start with the good news: Single people over 50 are the fastest growing demographic in online dating.

The biggest site for mature men and women who want to date peers is called OurTime.com. You should feel very comfortable meeting someone who lives near you on OurTime.com.

Now here’s the challenging news: There are predatory men who are more interested in a widow’s wallet than her heart.

And physicians are telling me they are seeing a rise in STD rates among baby boomers who, no longer worried about pregnancy, are pulling off condoms.

And finally, online dating is a misnomer. People shouldn’t date online. They should meet online and meet in a safe public place in the real world.

So the bottom line is you control who has access to your wallet, your bloodstream and your heart.

Don’t be afraid to set clear boundaries (like a good mother) until a man proves himself to be trustworthy.

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